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Day 389/ I gave up

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Sunday, January 24, 2016

I gave up yesterday.

I did.

At 1 minute and 47 seconds of my workout I turned off the DVD and sat down on the couch.

I just felt like I could not do it. I tried to weigh my reasons against this feeling and it did nothing to help. So I thought of my reflection in the mirror. I thought of how I used to feel before I gained all this weight. And then I thought of what my DD said to me a few days before. I had been debating whether or not I was going to work out, and she told me I just had to work out for my health because I have diabetes. My youngest DD with the most concerned and serious look on her face, telling me this. What more motivation do you need? I turned the video back on and got myself off the couch and pushed myself to do my best, try my hardest, and remember not to give up.

I posted that on one of my teams, true story. I truly gave up. But all it took was remembering my DD to give me the strength I needed to get to it. And while I worked out, I thought about the things that really motivate me to continue working out. My reflection in the mirror is one. I want to look in the mirror and recognize me, not go oh dear God who is that?! My children. I want to show them that hard work pays off and it is important to take care of yourself and I want to be here for them. Skinny jeans just don't motivate me. But hiking does. I miss getting out in the woods. I grew up being out in the woods every day, and now the closest I get are the trees in our back yard. Just to name a few. I want to keep these reasons close to me so that if I feel like giving up again, I have reasons to continue.

emoticon I'm up super early having some coffee to sooth my throat. I woke myself up snoring. I got so uncomfortable in bed I just had to get up. I'm hoping being up for a bit will ease the aches and I'll be able to go back to sleep in a few. It took me forever to fall asleep last night, so I have not gotten much sleep so far.

emoticon Splurged a little on my carbs yesterday, had hibachi. But I ate to allow for the extra calories/carbs so I didn't go over. I love it, but it does not love me. Since having my gallbladder out it goes straight through me. And there is no warning time, there had better be a bathroom nearby!!

emoticon Today I'm going to get my salad stuff back out. I had been enjoying salads again and hope I can get my tastebuds back in mood for salads. It really helps to cut down on my calorie intake for the day. I'm also going to get the soup back out and start munching on it again. Yum. Eating healthy never tasted so good!

emoticon I'm feeling good, no more cold. My jaw has stopped hurting so much from the oral surgery. I've been getting up early with no problem. Yup, time to get back in the workout mode! Nothing to stop me but myself and I'm getting out of my way! I've managed to keep off the two pounds I lost and am hoping for another two this week! I'm going to sit down today and do some goal setting. I need clear goals that are attainable to strive for. I know I can do this if I just keep motivated!
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