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Day 409/Stagnant

Saturday, February 13, 2016

emoticon I'm reading a book called Classic Sourdough: A Home Baker's Handbook, and I just adore it. I've always wanted to start/buy my own sourdough but the task seemed so daunting! This book explains why today's bread bought in stores tastes like 'edible napkins' (a term my Mom and I used to use about store bought white bread, so I thought it was hilarious) and all the good bacteria and even antibiotics that are in sourdough breads. Lactobacillus is one of the key bacteria found in sourdoughs. And no, sourdough is not just one bread, it is they way you make the bread, it can be any number of different kinds. I won't bore you with the details, but I'm very excited!

emoticon I did not sleep very much or very well at all yesterday night. I was exhausted all day, and no, I didn't work out. That makes three days in a row, but don't worry, I won't make it a fourth, I'm dressed and ready to go, I'm just going to finish some coffee and write this blog and then go workout. I'm disappointed in myself for not working out yesterday, but I learned something and that is a good thing. I must work out in the morning, no matter how late I'm running behind or don't get up with my alarm. If I don't work out first thing in the morning, I won't work out at all. Oh I'm sure there will be times when I can do it, but I just don't have the energy, motivation, or 'want to' later in the day. So early morning workout it is. I slept in today, like I do on Saturday's (0730, so it's not like I sleep super late) but I'm still going to workout as soon as my coffee is done. I'm actually really looking forward to it!

emoticon I'm hungry, but I'm hungry for something hearty. Scrambled eggs with veggies and a sprinkle of cheese it is! (after I work out) I've been SO hungry! Time to get the bowl of carrots back out and any time I'm hungry just munch on those and a big glass of water. I can beat this hunger monster that is making me feel so hungry when i should not be. It's not a tummy hunger, I'm usually not really hungry. It's a mental/emotional/back of the throat kind of hungry. I can tame my sweet tooth with dehydrated bananas (just making a batch now, and Oh the smell! Yum!) So no more sneaking cookies (which will hopefully be out of the house today!) I did buy ice cream for the kids, but I got them the individual sized pints so that that I'm not even tempted. I just have to get used to not having that heavy full feeling. Veggies don't give you that heavy full feeling like pasta does, and pasta is out of my diet. I refuse to eat bread unless I bake it. Crackers I will only eat the whole grain, organic ones I bought by Ancient Grains. I did't realize how much sugar is in peanut butter, so no more of that. I need to get some fresh ground peanut butter. I was eating honey roasted peanuts until DH told me how much sugar is in them and that I should not be eating them. *sigh*, cutting out sugar is hard.

emoticon Speaking of water, I've not been drinking enough. How do I know? Yesterday night I woke up twice, so thirsty I went and drank a whole glass of water plus some. Yup, not enough water. So I'm going to make a conscious effort to drink more water.

emoticon I almost bought some BB cream yesterday. I don't even know what BB cream really is, lol. I'm tired of my cheeks being bright red all the time. I'm tired of wearing glasses, I want to try contacts again, but first I have to go to the eye doctor to get an updated prescription. I want to feel pretty again. That's part of the reason I got the ipsy glam bag subscription. That's also a motivation for losing the weight, eating right and a number of other things. I'm tired of feeling like I don't look good. I want to to feel better about myself. And with all this weight on, I just don't think I can. Plus there are the health concerns.

I feel... stagnant. I'm motivated to lose the weight, but it seems like no matter what I do, I stay in this same place. So I'm going to make a new vision collage, yes, I know I just made one, but that is one of what I want, what my goals are like camping, kayaking, hiking, my girls, and the shopping spree at the end of the weight loss. I want to make one of how I will feel better and something to really motivate me emotionally. Looking better, feeling better, quotes that inspire. I know I need to feel better about myself emotionally now, as I am, not as how I was. I really need to work on that. If DH can love me no matter what size I am, I need to as well.

I'm off to work out. Wishing you a Spark-tastic day!
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  • no profile photo CHAYOR73
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1470 days ago
    When you have time, go to a department store and ask one of the makeup ladies to teach you how to apply makeup on. They are always having new kinds and it is really fun to update your makeup supply. Contacts would be a wonderful advantage. Especially if you have been wearing eye glasses for a long time.
    1471 days ago
  • GINA180847
    You are amazingly good at really getting to the heart of how you feel. You write very well. emoticon
    1471 days ago
    Glad you're feeling better. It'll work out, you'll do it!
    1471 days ago
  • SILVER1369
    emoticon and you will as you know you are worth all of it! emoticon emoticon
    1472 days ago
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    1472 days ago
    Beautiful blog! I like the way you just put it out there. You have such an upbeat attitude.
    I finally started regular workouts. I made a date with myself at 3pm at the swimming pool. It is an outside pool and it is too cold for me in the mornings. Boy is my butt sore this morning! emoticon KEEP UP THE EXERCISE! I am also logging this in my diabetes record book. I turn a copy of it into my Diabetic counselor every two weeks, so there is another level of accountability.

    emoticon emoticon
    1472 days ago
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