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When Pigs Fly.....

Wednesday, April 06, 2016

Wikipedia: "When pigs fly" is an adynaton (a figure of speech so exaggerated that it describes an impossibility), a way of saying that something will never happen.

So this morning I had a "when pigs fly" moment. Many of you know that I have an ex-husband, my high-school sweetheart who was challenging (to say the least) to live with, quit working so he could pursue his "art", and eventually left me after 23 years with 5 children to raise on my own. To say I was bitter & angry is an understatement.

My children were old enough to maintain a relationship with him without involving me. I rarely saw him and when I did I stayed as far away as possible - never interacting with him unless I had no choice. But years pass, I've mellowed, and because I am happier now than I ever was married to him we started to communicate. The first time was when our son had a minor procedure done on his heart in 2005. The next time was when he got married in 2011. The third time was in 2012 for the boys' 30th birthday. Then, for the sake of our children, he & his wife started to join us at holiday celebrations.

So here's the impossible thing. He is now divorced for a 3rd time and needs help with financial-type things. He asked me to do his income taxes this year, so I did. Today he called because he's confused about Medicare and the associated supplemental health plans. I told him I would email him detailed information so he could decide. He said "I just want you to tell me what to do." I said, "I lost that right several years ago and when I HAD that right you never listened." He laughed and has given me a pass - one time of telling him what to do.

If you had asked me 10 years ago if this could ever happen, I'd have said absolutely NOT. But today it seems like the most normal thing. And my own Tom who has been a wonderful husband and step-father for 21 years, thinks its funny. He likes my ex-husband - they actually have more than me in common!

Today gives me hope that change CAN happen and I'm very happy about that!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    That is great! My ex-husband is a decent person, but I can't quite imagine spending Christmas with him. Although his wife joined my younger daughter and me for a girls' day out last year. I really do like her!

    1577 days ago
    That's funny. I once was helping the ex with a child custody issue assisting him in filling out the forms, etc., concerning my kids' youngest brother, who we adored. This was with the current hub's blessing in view of it being for the child. Kind of weird, though.
    1579 days ago
    Kathy, This sounds like you let go of resentments, something I am sure you never thought you could do in the past. It is so freeing when you do it. I don't like my ex, but I had to forgive him so he could not take my power anymore. Now that he can't have it, he seems be improving as a human being. Ha!
    1579 days ago
    sometimes for some people it takes a 360 to realize what they once had and gave up

    1579 days ago
    Amazing that some "when pigs fly" moments can actually come to pass. You are better for your ongoing relationship with your children's Father. It is good for you, and sadly, he sounds like he needs your sound judgement.

    Your husband, Tom, sounds like a gem. I am glad you found someone who would treat you and your children with the respect and love that you all deserve.

    When pigs fly, is something I have said a number of times. A personal favorite of my Dad's. He often said it when we asked for something we couldn't afford. I find it hilarious now.

    Spark on.
    1580 days ago
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