I can fit a triangle in a square!
Monday, April 18, 2016
Perspective? I laughed reading my blogs from my past. At that very moment in my life I had no clue at all. Not an ounce of perspective. I thought I had a glimpse of it, but nope! I have never been so naive about what I was going through. I will be 36 June 3rd, with that fast approaching I have made a choice to come back to spark because I need support. I need to vent whether or not any one is reading or listening. I need to be around motivation however it comes.
I have now reached a climax spiritually in my life. The whole thing about being negative is so real, I never saw myself as one, but I was! And I am still working on it! I can be super supportive of others and always say “silver linings folks” randomly throughout the day for others to see the light at the end of the dark tunnel. Yet I see now I never supported and gave myself that same push. Or gave myself the self-pride I should have. I love where I am in my life right now I’m more interested in my gifts that God gave me. Growing in love with things I had forgotten about. Learning how to meditate. Teaching myself discipline in my spiritual practice and trying to bring it all together with my body. I am less into my boyfriend of almost 4 years. No, that has not changed in fact it’s probably gotten worse, but here is the best part I am okay with that for right now. I can say I am able to not cry over spilled milk now.
I now have a back injury. I am ok. It was from a car accident back on March the 7th. Found out some very important things about my health. Still nursing it. But during this adventure of being stuck at home with no work and rapidly gaining some weight from none movement. I need help! I try and act like I’m capable. But I always act like “oh I got this” no need for you to help. I guess because I want a specific person to help me but geez they won’t. So with this situation on its 2nd month, I am ready to let go of the phony “I’m good” attitude and get on here and fix my life and my body myself. With some support of the very same place and maybe different people who helped me years ago. I would be lying to say I am 100% in this to win it. I am saying that I am on here because I am gonna wing it. Take it day by day and not expect much. All the while learning and sharing my knowledge with others. I found myself worth, and it’s in the fact that I am the girl who will try and fit a triangle in a square by shaving off the sides!