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Day 498/ Day 25 of 100

Sunday, May 22, 2016

emoticon A quarter of the way through my 100 Days and I'm not happy with my results. But I know the reason is my nutrition. I keep falling off of the wagon and having those sweets or chips or Jaffa Cakes. No more. I'm tempted to go to Starbucks because that is what I do on Sunday, but not this week. Nor the next. I'm going to stop this train. I'm doing enough that I should be just dropping the pounds, but without the nutrition to back it up, I'm not getting anywhere. I'm trying, I am, but now it is time to try harder. Say no to that extra large portion of rice. get out my scale and my measuring cups and really take charge of my portion sizes. The only foods I won't portion control are my non-starchy veggies. As long as I do not add butter or cheese to them, I can have as many carrots or broccoli as I want, as long as I do not get that overly full feeling.

emoticon I was determined yesterday. I wanted to get 5 miles in, and I did. I've been getting a measly 1 mile in for the past few days, and I missed a whole day due to not getting enough sleep. Well, last night was another one of those nights. I just could not sleep. At all. I tossed and turned till midnight (went to bed at 9:30) I feared my glucose was too high so I checked it... 150, not great but nothing to worry about. What I didn't know was that my glucose levels were rising, it was at 193 this morning. So as soon as I'm done with my coffee, it's off to get on the treadmill, to bring down my levels. I planned on getting up at 5 AM but I was stuck in this awful dream and couldn't wake up enough to get up. I woke up finally at 6 AM. I'm drinking my coffee right now and who knows what that will do to my blood sugar. So there is not getting out of exercising this morning, I have to get my level down!

emoticon I don't want to go to church. I don't feel like sitting in the car for two hours. I just don't want to. I want to stay at home and come up with meal plans and clean the house, and work out. I don't want to go. I just don't feel as welcomed there as I used to, I feel like I don't belong, and I don't know what to do about it. I love the pastor's wife, but I don't think she has time for new friends, she's very busy. And there are a few people I would like to get to know better. But on Sunday morning it is usually just me. And I feel so all alone. Being lonely in a crowded room is depressing. And there are cliques I'll never fit into unless I volunteer for certain things that i just can't volunteer for. With my anxiety and panic attacks it just would not be a good fit. It makes me sad.

emoticon So I'm going to go work out, and I'm going to try for 4-6 miles today, depending on how I am feeling. My lower back muscles are feeling it. I need to be doing my crunches and hip raises and such to get my core back in shape too, because I'm never going to get my balance back unless I work on it. There was this thin cedar tree that fell across the dry creek bed in our back yard growing up, and I was determined that I would be able to one day run across it without falling. Or at least walk across it. And I did. I practiced until my balance was good enough I could run or walk across it, change direction midway across it, and when a skinnier tree fell I dragged it over and placed it beside the one I was using and started practicing on that. I got rather good at balancing on it. I want that balance back. And I'm going to get it.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JUNEAU2010
    I applaud your determination! You can do this!
    1371 days ago
    Baby steps is the way to go. emoticon emoticon emoticon Thank you for sharing.
    1371 days ago
  • SILVER1369
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    1371 days ago
    emoticon The nutrition thing is making small changes - Measuring portions is an excellent way to start. For the heavier foods, I serve myself 1/2 portion, and if I am still hungry ( still working on knowing the difference) I have the other portion.

    DH put up hangers in my cupboard for all my measuring cups and spoons. Found the idea on Pinterest- it is so much nicer than having to dig in the drawer! I buy my meat in bulk, and break it down, weigh it and then repackage it. Voila when it is time to cook, it is already premeasured!

    Great work on the balance! I didn't focus on walking, but working the core and balance at first. It is helping a great deal! I joined the My Walking 4 fun and in June will start "walking" the Pacific trail. 6 months ago I was walking with a cane and a rollator so I am feeling pretty good about my progress in the getting stronger department.

    SMALL CHANGES SWEETIE! They add up over the long haul.
    1371 days ago
    I'm going to start following you and reminding you to look at making small changes over a longer period of time rather than everything at once.
    1372 days ago
    Whoa. You are trying to do everything and having issues with all of it. Work on your exercise today. Tomorrow start by making small changes in your diet, like replacing chips with individual bags of baked chips. The next day get adequate sleep.
    1372 days ago
    Hang in there
    1372 days ago
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