Well, today is the big day, I pick up my kids around 1 or 2 this afternoon. I can't wait, I have missed them so much. While it has been great to be alone with DH for a few days, I miss my girls.
So, thinking about the sewing thing, I've got a really cheapo model that my sister gave me when she upgraded. It still works, however badly it works. When Aunt G was 'teaching' me, she often could not get it to work right, but I never had those problems. I think I'll start learning on this machine, if I can. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't, but I can't know till I try. However cheap it might be, it is still a sewing machine. I bought a kit when I was first wanting to learn how to sew for a really nifty bag/purse that has all of the material you need, already cut. I also have a pattern for an apron that I really want to try. May as well give it a shot! Not this week, but maybe next, because I'll have to take over the table for it.
To be able to actually be good at something. Not just good, but great... that would be awesome. But I'll have to put in the time to learn and make mistakes and go to classes and every time I fail, pick myself back up and try over. Not only that, but make time every day for myself to sew, to practice, even if I'm just practicing making a straight line. But to be great at something, that would be amazing.
I'm realizing that I'm not putting 100% effort into some of the things I do. Crochet I could be so much better at, but I'll get in these funks with it where I feel like I just can't do it and I'll quit, for months at a time. Baking is about the same way, which is bad with trying to do a sourdough! I'm going to stop this nonsense. I'm going to crochet the poncho's I wanted to make for my DDs and scarves for my friends. I'm going to bake that sourdough until I get it figured out and get good at it and can make all the crazy things I want to make with it. I'll keep practicing my other kinds of bread as well, like the italian loaf my family loves so much. I'm not going to be happy with just scraping by any more. I can be great at this stuff, I just know that I can. I just need to practice and keep at it and not give up any more.
I'm going to be one busy woman. We are still going to do homeschool during the summer, just concentrating on the basics that we need, mainly math and English grammar. Plus we are doing several projects this summer. We are going to learn and do projects on butterflies, ants and volcanoes. I've got several crochet projects to work on plus I need to be thinking about Christmas projects now. And my therapist gave me several brochures of places that I could make stuff for and donate that would really help. Victims of sex trafficking, having someone hand make something for them personally, for someone to care about them that much, expecting nothing in return, that would help them in some small way. I want to do that. Plus learning how to sew. And baking bread at least twice to three times a week (my new goal). And exercising and eating right. And sleep in there somewhere, LOL. Plus swim lessons for the kids and going to the lake and the pool to practice and to have fun. Somewhere in there I'd like to have a social life. I'm looking forward to a busy summer. I know my priorities will have to change come August with regular school starting and all of the homeschool groups starting back up again, I'll have to change our schedule and we will be so very busy.
I'm a little apprehensive, but I'm not going to let that get in my way. Not this time. I'm going to do a little at a time, not rush myself, not feel bad if we can't make it to the pool that day, and be as easy on myself and the kids as I can be. I need this. I need to excel at something. I want to feel like I have accomplished something or can be great at something. I want to silence the voices of the past that tell me that I will never be good at anything.
Well, today is a run morning, so I better get to it! I'm all out of Extreme Weight Loss episodes to watch, so I'm thinking about Biggest Loser or something like that. Just music is good for the first 30 minutes, then I need something to occupy my brain! I do have a lot to think about so we'll try just music for now and see how it goes! Got to get at least 30 minutes of run/walk and then I want another 30 minutes of walking. Whew!