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When life gets in the way

Monday, June 13, 2016

It's been a challenging couple of weeks. Two weeks ago my husband was called because his mother was "unresponsive", unfortunately his brother didn't really know what the care giver meant by that. When he got to his mother's home the Priest was there to deliver last rites. After that his mom wanted to spend time with each child individually and when it was my husband's turn he suggested that perhaps his mom would like to get up. She considered it and with help from her daughter, she got up and had some dinner with all her children around her.

5 days later he was called again because she fell while getting up and broke her leg in two places. We were at the hospital for almost 3 hours while the siblings (not including my husband) were trying to figure out how they were going to get a 90 lb. woman who had been given a large amount of morphine, with a broken leg, into a car to take her home. Thankfully a doctor finally said absolutely not - she had to be admitted.

She was in the hospital for 4 nights. The family moved her hospital bed into the den so she could watch TV; however, she has barely been awake since coming home. She receives morphine along with 2 other drugs for pain every hour. Since Friday she has refused to eat or drink. She is not being given anything but the pain medication. Today my husband took his son over to say good-bye.

Needless to say, my husband is having a hard time with this. Not the fact that his mother is dying, but that she is just wasting away. He said the nurse that was there today was talking about his mother in the same way a person would talk about a beloved old car that simply no longer worked.

Other than going with him to the hospital, I have kept myself out of all of this. His family has never liked me - for some reason they seem to feel that I have had a negative influence on Tom by keeping him from his family. Believe me, if I had ANY influence on my husband, a lot of things would be different. My husband is a dear, sweet man who takes care of his responsibilities but he's also extremely independent and does things his own way. I learned that after only a few years of marriage, you'd think his family of origin would have understood that a long time ago.

But this waiting is difficult. I'm working hard to continue to feed us healthy meals and most days I do a pretty good job with my exercising. Today our truck died so we only have one vehicle so I can't really plan anything because Tom may need the car. It's not likely to be fixed anytime soon because our mechanic is Tom's brother!

I will continue to follow my routine as best I can. I so appreciate Spark People and the friends I have met here - it helps to know there are supportive people in this world.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • WHITECAT19
    I just prayed a special prayer for you, and always pray for you every day. May God give you strength and comfort.

    emoticon emoticon
    1446 days ago
  • JJMPLSMN
    Everything I have read about Tom's Mother from you, makes me believe she has been a constant negative force in your lives, same with his family.

    I hope Tom can find closure, and understand that like hospice, end of life decisions are all about comfort and not health. If she was hungry, she would eat.

    Take care of yourself, Tom's Mom is WRONG!!!

    Spark on.
    1446 days ago
  • MARIETTA2012
    Praying for your family.
    1446 days ago
  • SIXLESTER69
    Praying for all of you. Hang in there
    1447 days ago
  • MARINGAL
    Get your pitcher out Kathy! It is definitely lemonade time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    !!!!!!!!!!! I think you better hold on because there is gonna be some type a bumpy ride in the near future. I just got that feeling….hugs! And kisses for my Dixy Doodle.
    1447 days ago
  • NSHEAR
    I am so sorry for all you are dealing with.
    1447 days ago
  • LADYARTIST41
    Lifting your entire family in prayer
    1447 days ago
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