SP Premium
OVERWORKEDJANET
80,000-99,999 SparkPoints 86,846
SparkPoints
 

Conversations about getting help.

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Thank goodness that by yesterday DH looked and felt as good as he had 3 weeks ago! Done with IV antibiotics, his PICC was removed and he could get a good scrubbing in the warm shower. Ahhhhhh!

Did I mention I'm getting physical therapy? I have been utilizing the gym while DH has PT and I thought I may have overdone something; I had some pain in my hip and back. Proper Rx in hand, I met with the doctors who now count as friends-we've been there 3x a week since December!

Each visit I've had every vertebrate joint manipulated and back muscles rubbed for what seems like heaven/tortured hours. The exercises I'm doing are new to me and I notice improvement. The really small muscles in my pelvis weren't getting used and I was using my back muscles for everything. Old dog, new tricks.

I didn't expect their diagnosis and recommendations:
You're doing too much.
What your are doing at home isn't helping.
Get help.

I discussed this with DH and he suggested I get a cleaning service as he watched me vacuum.
I vacuum once a week unless something is dragged in. I dust on the fly. Cooking is minimal. Dishwasher runs every other day. Would a cleaning service really help? I don't think so. It's only the two of us and we're not messy.
I have a lawn service. Nothing there.
Groceries? It'd be nice to have help taking things out of the car, but....

Sorry dude, it's the personal care.
Lifting, bending, dressing him. I have to set up the extended shower chair and shower him. Put the walker in the car (the wheelchair is infrequently used) and drive everywhere. On bad days I'm the extra handle. On good days I get my hand held.
I need free time to exercise daily to keep strong and he can't be left alone too long.

Now that the subject has been broached, I can investigate without a twinge of guilt.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • FIFIFRIZZLE
    I'm glad to read this. Sounds like a blessing in disguise, OJ. And not even a murmur about the shoulder, which I thought you were getting seen to this year? Hmm?
    My PT said I have to use a stick on my steps because my knee is not getting enough recovery time without being disturbed. Fifi NEEDS those knees so despite the fact that I HATE the stick, I am using it. And doing those exercises.
    emoticon
    1353 days ago
  • OHMEMEME
    emoticon
    1355 days ago
  • DEBVNE
    There should be no twinges...full steam ahead. Being one's partner does not mean that the demands of physically caring for them should be yours...a solo act is hard to maintain. You are all in, 100%...no wonder your bod is complaining. Glad you are doing PT, sweet relief. It has helped immensely with my jaw pain...which was really in the neck and shoulders. Improved posture a win...find help. I'm betting it helps in more ways than you could ever imagine!
    1355 days ago
  • ONEKIDSMOM
    Yes, it's hard physical labor, this care-giver job! And sounds like it's more than Janet can do on her own! Blessings on your search for the needed assistance! emoticon
    1355 days ago
  • IAMSUNNYHOWARD
    emoticon My mom had to finally get help when Dad became wheel chair bound. We convinced them to go into an Assisted Living facility- Dad was the hard sell. We told him that if he loved Mom as much as he said he did, then he would do this, because it was killing her. He finally agreed and it was the best thing they could have done. They actually started doing stuff together,because someone else was taking care of the dressing, showering, lifting and lugging. Mom got to live there for a reduced rate. They played pool, did puzzles, went on short trips. Dad passed, and Mom moved but she is in an apartment complex with common rooms so she still socializes. 85 and going strong!

    Home heath is a great alternative and they have lots of services.

    I order my groceries on line and they are delivered to my door for $6. That saves my back!
    It also keeps those cookies and bad foods from jumping into my cart!

    New norms- keep those pink boxing gloves handy and roll with the punches!!
    1356 days ago
  • ROXYZMOM
    emoticon Great idea! You need the help and the break!!

    1356 days ago
  • SDEHNKE
    It would make all the difference in the world. You would get some relief and he would be less likely to argue with a professional carer. Good news all around.

    Suellen
    1356 days ago
  • SLIMMERJESSE
    I hope you get the help you need.
    1356 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    HONEY GO FOR IT! I have help 3 x's/week. BELIEVE ME, Mom was an EXTREMELY UNHAPPY camper, but I put it to her this way, if I don't have time to take care of ME then I can't take care of you and Dad. Bottom line. She is cooperative now (ummm . . . only 6 mths. later. **SIGH** . . . but it happened! That's the bottom line.

    Good luck!
    1356 days ago
  • MORTICIAADDAMS
    I wonder if you would qualify for home health to do some of his daily care. My grandmother did. They came into bathe and dress her and get her out of bed. I think she got 4 hours a day for 5 days a week.
    1356 days ago
  • NEPTUNE1939
    emoticon emoticon
    1356 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.