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A Month of, "Goodbyes"

Sunday, September 11, 2016

I hate goodbyes. I really, really hate goodbyes. But, somehow, the past month seems to have been a month of goodbyes. 1. It started out with my cousin's funeral. She was the kindest, sweetest cousin I've ever had. She was gone way too soon. It was hard to say, "Goodbye," to her. Since then, I've chosen to live more. 2. Then, the husband of a very young friend suddenly passed away. He was 23. I attended the funeral where his mother just held me and cried. Then I went to his wife. We held each other and we cried and we cried until there were no more tears left to cry. Her 2 year old kicked up a fuss on the front pew of the church. I don't think her little one understood what was going on. I hated watching that family have to say, "Goodbye." Since then, I've chosen to appreciate more. 3. Yesterday, our kitty, Creamsicle, ran across a usually deserted road at the quiet hour of 4am. For some reason, there was a car that came at that very moment and struck her. Her poor broken body was lifeless as blood splattered across her white and orange coat. I put flowers on her makeshift cardboard box casket as we said, "Goodbye," to her. I hated saying, "Goodbye." Since then, I've chosen to love more. 4. Tomorrow, I'll have to say, "Goodbye," to two families who were key in uplifting me and my family during some challenging times. Both will be moving out of state for various reasons. I will miss the light that they were in our lives. I'm gonna hate saying that, "Goodbye." In light of this, I've chosen to give more. While it's been quite draining, I suppose not all goodbyes have been bad. You see, in the past month, I slowly said, "Goodbye," to my old self. That was the self that was frustrated and unhappy with the way my health was going. With this, I've chosen to hope more. I said, "Goodbye," to my old eating habits...deliberately making the choice to eat for my health. With this, I've chosen to love myself more. I said, "Goodbye," to giving power to those who doubted me. I turned from that and I moved forward. With this, I've chosen to respect myself more. I said, "Goodbye," to just letting life happen to me. With this, I've chosen to move forward more. And it's ok. You see...with every "goodbye" I've had to say, I've had the chance to choose "more." I live in the moment more. I encourage more. I smile more. I laugh more. I dance more. I listen more. I work more. I relax more. I hug more. I think more. I write more. I walk more. I play more. I help more. I sing more. I goof off more. I sleep more. I watch the sunset more. I garden more. I chill more. And yeah...I even cry more. (Mostly good cries.) ;) You see...every time I have to say, "Goodbye, " whether I like it, or not, I am changed. And I choose to change for MORE. So, my Spark friends, no matter what kind of goodbyes you will have to make, I hope that you will allow it to change you for MORE. You see...as amazing as each one of us already is, we can still become even MORE. Why? Because YOU are worth MORE than you probably realize. Take my word for it. YOU deserve the happiness and the satisfaction of becoming MORE. Thank you for being my friend on this amazing journey! Have an amazing week!
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