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To go or not to go....

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Is life really this complicated or do I just MAKE it complicated?

If you read yesterday's blog you'll know that my sweet daughter-in-law's mother passed away yesterday morning at a mere 58 years old. I am troubled by this, naturally. But for some reason it seems to be hitting me really hard. Is it because she was so young and I am already several years older than that? Is it because I hurt so much for dear Crystal who will survive because she is a survivor, but her life will never be the same. Is it that whenever someone close to you dies, it brings back all the sadness of deaths that changed my own life? Is it all of the above, and so much more?

But here is the dilemma. Last January we booked a week in a cabin on a ranch near Lander, Wyoming. We stayed there for our 20th anniversary and thought we'd go back in the fall this year. Up until mid-August we had enough money set aside for this trip. But a spontaneous trip to visit grandchildren took care of that. And since we've returned we had to put new tires on the car (because of the trip), had to repair the brakes on the truck, and now we are faced with 3 days of funeral activities - the wake on Monday, the funeral on Tuesday, and the burial on Wednesday. That leaves us financially strained with little time to actually prepare for leaving on Sunday.

And then there's the overwhelming feeling that we shouldn't be so far away from home right now. But on the flip side, this was suppose to be our 'sit-back-and-relax' vacation. We've committed to Beverly (the owner) 5 nights of income for our stay, and I hate to back out of that. We would loose our deposit but I'm quite sure she would understand, given the circumstances. We could still get away for a day or two and just not have to travel the 1000 miles to Wyoming.

So what's a girl to do. I am trying hard to listen to myself (trust my gut so to speak), but no one is talking.... or are they and I'm just not listening? Or, as I said in the beginning, am I just making things complicated that really aren't?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • FLORIDASUN
    Isn't it funny....I was just going to suggest the list of pros and cons...and there was our dear Fredie right there with the same suggestion....great minds think alike eh?

    I also say go....you need the time away...and you have planned for it. It left you with wonderful memories once before and I'd say you need more wonderful memories to store in your 'life bank' right now. We need to take happiness and pleasure when we find it. Things will work out okay on the money end. We were at our wits end last week worrying about our rent going up...and this week sales have picked up and things are looking a WHOLE lot more promising.

    Keep the faith and enjoy your life Kathy! You are a wonderful person and you enjoy pleasure...so be good to yourself toots! emoticon
    1359 days ago
  • MARINGAL
    Write a list of pros and cons. Discuss it with Tom. Personally, at this point in our lives, I would go for it. A vacation, regrouping, prioritizing what is important and what isn't, gratitude, all the above…Kathy, you will only disappoint yourself and Tom if you choose to cxcl this planned escape to this wonderful sounding holiday. Grieving will follow you where ever you go so you will not be disrespecting your daughter-in-law in case you are feeling that way. Someone once told me there will never be enough money for a vacation of deciding to have a child. I have never forgotten that. Make do what you have, and go. Just go. It will be good for you and Tom and especially for Daisy Doodle.
    1360 days ago
  • DNJOYS
    Decisions can be so difficult especially when you're emotionally drained. I wouldn't let the circumstances of this week stop you though if you have the money. It's okay to take time out for yourself. Do what you most need to do for you. Only you know what that is. Maybe sleeping on it will help? That's often when things become clearer for me anyway. emoticon
    1360 days ago
  • PINKPARASOLLADY
    If you've got the money, I'd say definitely go. I wouldn't let a death in the family keep you home. If anything, it's fortuitous that you had already planned some down time given that and other recent events. Take care of you!
    1360 days ago
  • LEANJEAN6
    Lordy Be---- I certainly understand the financial thing--- Himself is semi retired and our income has dropped considerably--- It's tough being sorta strapped for $$---Do whatever you feel will make yer life easier in the future-----Let me know how yu make out--Lynda--oh--and hugs
    1360 days ago
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