To go or not to go....
Thursday, September 15, 2016
Is life really this complicated or do I just MAKE it complicated?
If you read yesterday's blog you'll know that my sweet daughter-in-law's mother passed away yesterday morning at a mere 58 years old. I am troubled by this, naturally. But for some reason it seems to be hitting me really hard. Is it because she was so young and I am already several years older than that? Is it because I hurt so much for dear Crystal who will survive because she is a survivor, but her life will never be the same. Is it that whenever someone close to you dies, it brings back all the sadness of deaths that changed my own life? Is it all of the above, and so much more?
But here is the dilemma. Last January we booked a week in a cabin on a ranch near Lander, Wyoming. We stayed there for our 20th anniversary and thought we'd go back in the fall this year. Up until mid-August we had enough money set aside for this trip. But a spontaneous trip to visit grandchildren took care of that. And since we've returned we had to put new tires on the car (because of the trip), had to repair the brakes on the truck, and now we are faced with 3 days of funeral activities - the wake on Monday, the funeral on Tuesday, and the burial on Wednesday. That leaves us financially strained with little time to actually prepare for leaving on Sunday.
And then there's the overwhelming feeling that we shouldn't be so far away from home right now. But on the flip side, this was suppose to be our 'sit-back-and-relax' vacation. We've committed to Beverly (the owner) 5 nights of income for our stay, and I hate to back out of that. We would loose our deposit but I'm quite sure she would understand, given the circumstances. We could still get away for a day or two and just not have to travel the 1000 miles to Wyoming.
So what's a girl to do. I am trying hard to listen to myself (trust my gut so to speak), but no one is talking.... or are they and I'm just not listening? Or, as I said in the beginning, am I just making things complicated that really aren't?