Done and Done
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
I'd first like to thank all of you who listened to my fear and encouraged me to NOT give away my power - in regard to the wake and funeral for my DIL's mom. I am happy to report that I did just that and all things went as they were suppose to go.
My stomach was pretty much tied in knots on the long drive to Winsted - a drive that we have made so many times before which almost always led to some stressful event. But I resolved (there's that word again) in my head that I would stand tall and offer my love and support to Crystal & Will, my adorable grandsons, Donna's husband and her son Paul and daughter Laura. William was outside when we arrived and he was very happy to see us. We were then greeted by Cassie, a dear close friend of Crystals. There was no sign of the step-daughter, apparently she didn't come. Whew! That made my evening a whole lot better. The ex was there, but she doesn't bother me as much because - after all - there's a reason she's the ex and I'm the current!
We stayed through the prayer service. Crystal wrote a beautiful letter to her mom that her friend Cassie read - we all had tears in our eyes. Dear Aaden who just turned 7 really lost it at the very end. He asked his Dad when he would be able to see Nana Banana (his name for grandma), Will told him not for a very long time until Aaden goes to heaven. Little Aaden said "what if I forget what she looks like".
The funeral today was very short and very nice. All the mean people were there - they took up 2 tables at the luncheon. But Tom and I had my children with us, and the grandsons spent a lot of time with us too. Aaden has a crush on my daughter Lauriellen - most boys do! William also came to talk with us for awhile - I know he really appreciated that his normal family (not that we're all that normal, but comparatively speaking....) were there and available if needed. We don't push our way in, we have respect for others; we understand boundaries.
I am somewhat concerned for Crystal - she has quite a weight on her shoulders. He dad didn't look too good so I know she will be worrying about him. She is the caretaker of the family and will try hard to hold everything together. But she's a strong young woman and I have confident that she will make it through this difficult time. Tom and I will give them some space to grieve, we'll probably pay a visit sometime in October.
So my lesson learned - be true to yourself and stop worrying about what MIGHT happen. Doing just that simple thing brings peace to me and those around me. I hope I can remember this lesson for all time because it's a big one! Thanks again to all my spark friends!