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Blue Sunday

Sunday, October 02, 2016

Today.....as I have been for months...I'm at home in my recliner recovering from a major ankle surgery. Where I would LIKE to be is at my church with my faith family worshipping and enjoying the company. And to make matters worse "DH" is less than friendly today (which is a complete understatement.)

I feel like crying. But even tears are out of my reach.

I know this is not a blog about food or weight loss....but I do not have any other place to vent right now. My family reads my public blog and this is not meant for their eyes.

I'm discouraged by the fact that even after weeks and weeks of not putting weight on my foot, it still is hurting. I'm beginning to fear that I will join the numbers of post-surg patients whom I've heard from, telling their horror stories about this particular surgery and the complete failure it has been to them. Where were these people in the weeks before the surgery when I was weighing my options? Why didn't they warn me?

I want my freedom back.
I want out of this house.
I want the pain to go away.
I want to enjoy the autumn since I spent the whole summer in the hospital.

Plus there may be a hurricane coming which could cause us major problems as we do not own a generator and the basement which is mostly finished and full of our stuff, to flood when the sump pump won't work due to power outage. I cannot even get down there to take things out of harm's way.

Well I have prayed about this threat and I have to trust that God will save us from disaster.

I have also asked God to please heal the bones in my ankle.
I just really need to put my faith where my mouth is instead of putting my foot there.
Just now a song came on my phone...Ryan Stevenson, In the Eye of the Storm Here is the link. Please give it a listen. This is how God comforts his children....

www.youtube.com/
watch?v=Qlow_JkOpiw


I apologize that my positivity has slipped and my sadness is showing. My marriage needs help and other than by Divine Intervention, I am afraid help is impossible. There are a lot of causes of my misery. But there is one God who can deal with them, because I really can't deal with them
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LUCYCAN7
    Please remember the things that take place in our lives there is a reason.
    Sometimes it is for the better or the worse.Only God knows why!He WILL
    give you the strength to make it thru and to be even stronger.Remember
    The Serenity Prayer!!!Lean on Him! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1448 days ago
  • _LINDA
    This is a far better place to vent than a public place like Facebook, you never know who might find it and get on you for your faith.
    I do wish we were close and could get together. So very few people truly understand the private hell we go through. I do at least have accessible accommodation so that at least I can take my scooter out when my arms are up to driving it. Had a wonderful day driving through some parks on Friday enjoying the fall colors and got some great photos of a blue heron and flicker. Getting out in nature always makes me feel better, but dreading another winter coming fast :-( The cold is my worst enemy and the icy walks and streets make me a shut in. But the amazing, warm special people on this website make me feel welcome. sure don't get much of that on Facebook. Other than you, I only have one friend who has autoimmune disease and just recently had a joint replacement.
    All we can do is keep on and have faith.
    Praying you will get a better recovery, but I fear you set back falling on it, and we just don't heal as fast when our system is wracked with disease and infused with toxins from our medications and environment.
    Here is hoping you don't get that storm!! Sure don't need that too!
    You are strong and will survive this too!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1448 days ago
  • DANNATWEEDY
    I'm so sorry you are going through all this. I wish there was some way I could come to where you are and help you in any way I can. I will be praying for you. Keep your faith strong and things will work out. Our Lord will watch over you and keep you safe. I'm here for you if you need to just talk and vent anytime. We all can't be positive all the time and need to talk to someone who won't judge. Just remember we are all human. Sending hugs
    1449 days ago
  • DUGGIT
    Continued...you have the power within you, with Gods help, to better your life. I believe that. Do not lose heart.
    1449 days ago
  • DUGGIT
    Your post has moved me. I also have Sjogrens Syndrome. I understand living daily with the mental and emotional (not to mention physical) "weight" of auto-immune disease. I speak to you as someone who wants the best for you. You can turn this around.
    1449 days ago
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