Successes and Other Musings
Thursday, October 20, 2016
Yesterday I weighed myself..... ( I know....after this I will weigh myself weekly. ) I wanted to see if the inexplicable one extra pound had gone away. And yes it had! I struggled all day yesterday with wanting something sweet....a Symphony bar is my favorite. That or some ice cream....is where my head was at. I compromised by making my favorite comfort food: Pasta (whole wheat) with butter (real) and parmesan shreds (also real). I did feel guilty about the poor nutritional value of the meal so I tossed in a half a package of mixed frozen veggies. It was delicious. And I ate too much because I was uncomfortably full afterward. I do think my stomach has been shrinking. I can only eat a half of a bagel now rather than the whole thing. I love that.
So, because there wasn't a single treat-like thing in the house, I made it through the day without stumbling over a quart of ice cream. LOL. Now this morning I may be going to a restaurant (Perkins) for breakfast. I will have to watch myself because it would be easy to order a stack of pancakes, loaded with syrup and butter....and gorge myself. I need to decide ahead of time what to eat. I'm thinking one pumpkin pancake and some scrambled eggs. That way I do get a bit of a treat without going hog wild.
I've begun to think about Christmas shopping. I know it's only October but I will need to spread the expense between these three months. Today I made out my list of people to buy for and actually did make one purchase this morning on Amazon. I really wish I could go out to the stores and do some real shopping rather than virtual shopping. I miss that, I think, more than most of the things that this disease (PsA) has robbed from me. I haven't been to a mall in years....and to very few stores...and then, only a fast in and out before pain and strength make shopping any more impossible. At Christmas time stores have an added ambience --and added crowds. You can usually find better buys when buying in person because you are able to scout the sales. I think stores are having to find ways of attracting customers instead of losing the business to Amazon et al.
For the past two or three years we have not decorated our house at Christmas time. I HATE that....it really robs you of the Christmas spirit. There is magic in a decorated tree and wreaths on the door. Maybe my daughter and her boyfriend will help me decorate. Last year they decorated my parents' tree. Having my parents' house decorated did add a special glow to our Christmas Eve celebration there....especially when contrasted to our barren living room at home.
I also miss baking cookies and other Christmas treats. :( I really need to switch directions here. I need to focus on what I DO have rather than on what I've lost. I have a home and am not living on the street. We have more than enough food to eat. Our house is not flooded or buried in mud as are so many in the SE USA. I will be able to go to my parents' house and celebrate with them....They are both still alive, although mom's health has been really terrible of late, so I'm especially grateful for any time I spend with them. I have a beautiful daughter who loves me...and a good relationship with the man she is seeing. I do have much more than do many people do and I'm very grateful for that. God has been good to me. So please forgive me for complaining.
Well I wish for each of you (including myself) a day full of wise choices and a good measure of self control as well as much joy at seeing goals met and old vices conquered.