Saturday, December 31, 2016
I have survived the holidays. I have five more days of vacation before I go back to work. But I've spent the last week visiting with family...and that means a lot of sitting, and a whole lot of eating. I was hoping to spend the vacation getting a jump on clean eating...but I've pretty much been just stuffing my face. Cookies, pie, junk...tasty, but not good.
Still unpacking (I can't believe the sheer amount of stuff we have). And I guess carrying heavy boxes up and down stairs is exercise. But our new bedroom is huge, and that gives me a clearer view of myself in the dresser mirror. I'm kind of horrified at what's looking back at me. How did this happen? I've always been a really tiny person; I didn't break 100 lbs until after I was 21. Ten years ago I weighed 118. But then middle age hit, and the thyroid problem started, and the weight's been creeping up steadily ever since. Now I'm at 168. Doesn't sound terrible until I mention that I'm only 5'3". 50 pounds! Jeez. It feels insurmountable. I feel ugly and old.
The thing that adds to it is that I have this amazing co-teacher that I work with. She got me to join the after-school Crossfit class with her last spring. I hung with it until the end of the school year, and then life got hectic, my feet hurt, and I stopped exercising. She didn't. She looks amazing. And she's continuously posting her progress, and encouraging me to keep up. Yeah...I'm not in my 20's. I can't run five miles and then go to the gym and deadlift 100 lbs. I'm exhausted after running around after kids all day and then sitting in class at night. I don't even have enough of the house unpacked to have an exercise area yet.
I don't know...just feeling a little lost right now, I guess.