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Saturday, January 07, 2017

Okay Sparkpeeps I need to sit down and write out what's up with me lately now that I have some time to sit and ponder etc.!!!

Last night we went to a B-day celebration of a dance friend and had dinner and some dancing which was fun and I tried out some new firsts too! I tasted some fried calamari which I haven't tasted since I was a kid and my dad forced me to! LOL LOL LOL both forms of squid the sliced rings and tiny little octopus looking ones weren't too bad! LOL Still prob won't order and eat a bunch of it but a few bites are not detestable to me anymore! LOL BUT the biggest piece of news that I thought was a "I will never do that in a million years" is that I tried a raw oyster!!!!!!!!! AND I LOVED IT!!! I am so shocked! I think I really enjoy finding stuff like that, shocking myself with things I never thought I would like! I thought they would be slimy and chewy but it wasn't at all and I had it with a little lemon and some garlic bits stuff and it just was sooo yummy! The dance friend was like "Hey we should go find an Oyster Tasting where they have several kinds so that you can taste them all and see the differences" and I'm like HECK YEAH I so wanna do that now! LOL LOL LOL Go figure! And I enjoyed it so much I knew my husband would also so I told him and he also liked it...they are sooo not what you would think it's crazy! LOL

The bad news...even tho I was more careful than I have been with calories etc. I still ate back my hard work that I did during the week...and so that leads into...Melissa why are you needing to do hard work during the week that you shouldn't just have saved up for this occasion for instead so that it's just keeping up maintenance like a boss?

WELL...it all started I don't know how far back maybe about 6 months ago where I never really cared to get off 3lbs higher from my ideal goal weight. I have this Maintenance Deal with myself that I can reach 10lbs. before I have to face the facts and pull myself up by the bootstraps and I haven't had to do this yet in these almost 2 years...BUT just in case I ever would need to and this IS part of Life and part of Maintenance Life to have things like this in place so that you don't go beyond your fail-safe point!!! AND I'm glad I have that for myself!

Anyway I left those 3lbs there because I didn't really care, it didn't make that much of a difference it felt exactly the same as if I was at my ideal...the problem is then I have less wiggle room if things go weird! LOL AND sigh things went weird...maybe that should have been a first symptom for me so that I could do something and it kinda was but I dunno I just was going through a thing where it all felt too HARD and I just didn't WANT to do what I "needed" or "should" do so I just didn't. And yeah you can see how that attitude didn't help anything...so I started fudging here and there and being like whatever I just want to enjoy stuff I don't want to say no or to work hard to balance it etc. etc. etc.

The thing is that accompanying this is emotional stuff and I know that the emotional eating is what's getting me right now...even tho I know logically that it doesn't comfort a dang thing but just adds to more emotional turmoil!!!

So I need to start dealing with emotional stuff without turning to food...I know better than that! So what do you need when it's emotional stuff? Support...and so where do I find awesome support...of course here and I remembered how much the support of writing out blogs about what I'm going through and what I'm feeling and such really helped me feel motivated and inspired and stronger! So I need to start doing this again. In fact reading Maintainer Blogs has been what helped me do better this week so that the damage of last night is at least contained! LOL But I need to buckle down and really get down to business because I reached my 10lbs YOU MUST FACE THIS THRESHOLD!!!! This is what these thresholds are for so it's working! YAY for that right?

Which reminds me I read a cool article recently that you all might enjoy:

So the things in this article I'm going to start working on too...one of which is searching for things to be grateful for...which I am grateful for this spot I've reached being in place and I'm grateful for sparkpeople and blogging and you all! Now I'm tearing up! Hugs!

I know that I can and will be able to do this...those old feelings of doom and sliding back out of control are just not correct! I've already proven this with losing 85lbs...I've already proven that I can maintain! I've already proven a lot to myself, so no way am I going to go back to believing that crap again now! NO WAY! Tearing up AGAIN! LOL

It's nice to know I'm not alone with this, that it's normal, that it's not just me being "broken" or "doomed"...others know the feelz too. Thank you so much to each one of you who shares your own struggles and shares your support and understanding. It means a lot to me that I can come here and have this and do this.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I know I can. You know you can.
    840 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    You are so right about the fact that you are never alone and we all understand. We are here for you every step of the way. I know you can kick the extra weight in the butt because you are awesome. Stay strong, together we can do anything!
    1227 days ago
  • _LINDA
    emoticon trying something new in food, especially something like oysters!
    You sure aren't alone on emotional eating (after all its the biggest Spark team on here!) Any way you can find to deal with it is fantastic! This was a great article, thank you for posting the link! Every maintainer on here has to find their own way. You are doing great!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    We can surely all be grateful for this wonderful website!
    1233 days ago
    Interesting article. The weight creep is so subtle sometimes it is hard to get serious about getting it off. But it tinpot ant yo me yo keep it in the maintenance range
    1233 days ago
    I'm with you as regards emotional eating. I seem to be fine through the day, but once dinner is over and everything is cleared away and the kitchen is left sparkling (well, ok, maybe not sparkling, but clean), that's when I start thinking 'those' thoughts... they begin with not-so-positive ideas creeping into my mind, usually about things I've left undone over the past days, then I start with the whole self-criticism thing, and from then I may be able to take a long hard look at why I'm being so hard on myself, which is the better of two options, or I may decide to console myself with a small scoop of icecream. Possibly even caramel sauce trickled lightly over it... Needless to say, next morning I wake with a whole pile of negative thoughts swishing round what used to be my reasonably sane, happy brain, and the day starts off with more self-criticism.
    A few days ago I found myself doing all the above, and for some reason gave myself a stern talking to, part of which included telling myself how much I had to be grateful for in my life. I spent maybe fifteen minutes thinking off just a small portion of what showed signs of becoming a seemingly endless list before I decided I was over that negativity, and feeling way more positive. I'm only human, and as with all of us humans, there come flaws. Live and learn from my mistakes, is what I decided I need to do.
    Hopefully you will find a way to turn those negative thoughts into positive ones. Strange that we both decided to search for the positives amongst the negatives, and how, when we begin to find them, discover that they generally outweigh the negativity. That in itself has to be a good thing.

    1234 days ago
    You are not alone in this lifelong challenge. emoticon
    1234 days ago
  • ALICIA363
    What a beautiful and honest blog! Now I'm tearing up!
    It's amazing what deep feelz (I hope I'm using that right) we share on SP.
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    1234 days ago
    Thanks for the enlightening blog. I am just about at my goal weight & have joined the maintenance team. I'm beginning to learn the ropes of maintaining and have learned some things just reading your blog. That's a great idea having the 10 pound threshold. Since I'm just starting maintenance, I want to try & stay withing the 3 pound variance but in the future if I feel like slacking off just a little I will do the 10 pounds also. It's good that you came back to Spark for the support and help. You already know what to do so you will reach your maintenance weight again in no time.
    1234 days ago
  • LYNCHD05
    We all have that point where we say enough. Those pounds creep up one by one and we must know when it is time to say stop. Loved your blog....
    I love oysters too......never thought I would but I do......
    1234 days ago
    Good for you, stopping that evil uphill climb right now before it gets even more weighty.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1234 days ago
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    1234 days ago
  • GRACED777
    I have a high weight I won't go past also. Unfortunately I've gotten to it almost yearly, but I've always brought it under control with God's help. Working on getting the thinking in line to make less yo-yo-ing in the future.It's great you're not letting it totally get to you and are still working on things and also enjoying life!
    1234 days ago
    I have more of a scream size, but I know exactly what you mean!
    1234 days ago
    Glad you blogged! Very good. I know I feel not comfortable when I go above my goal by 3%. At that point
    I have to say enough is enough! Woo Hoo you for getting back to it!

    1234 days ago
    1234 days ago
    We are ALL in this together! I love SP!
    1234 days ago
    Thank you for this insightful and honest blog. I needed this message today. You are right, it is wonderful to feel a part of a like minded community and not feel alone as we negotiate our healthy lifetime journey in maintenance!
    1234 days ago
  • ELAINEB1972
    1234 days ago
    emoticon in believe in yourself enough to know that you don't have to slide back in that old way of thinking! That you have come to far to stop now! I have never tried raw oysters and I probably never will. Have a blessed Sunday and best wishes to you! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1234 days ago
    Hooray for using the threshold to motivate getting back on track. I'm sure you'll be successful.
    1234 days ago
    1234 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12680138
    You got this! Good to see you chose to come back and get focused rather than letting it go beyond your comfort threshold. We all know all to well it can spiral out of control If not closely monitored.

    emoticon emoticon
    1234 days ago
    What a super blog! Yup, I've gotta be more serious about "scream weight" and I've gotta be more vigilant about yanking my leash when I get above normal variation (3 pounds) around goal weight: and I AM doing just that.

    I am.

    With a Beck reboot. Which I'm doing right now.

    I too am so grateful for this amazing Spark community!

    1234 days ago
  • GABY1948
    You look AWESOME for sure!
    1234 days ago
    Okay girl ... I just may have to try oysters. My sisters love them and I just have not been able to get past the look of them. I've experienced a number of things that I thought I'd never experience in the past couple of years. So, why not add another, eh?

    Your presence here has been missed. I know life is busy and real life trumps life online. But, I'm glad that you knew to return here for support. Yeah. Set that stinkin' thinkin' aside. You are whole. You are destined to maintain. Yeah. Don't be going back to believing crap that tells you otherwise.


    ... and love, Love, LOVE the dance videos!!! You guys are AWESOME!!! emoticon emoticon
    1234 days ago
    I'm so glad to hear from you, especially to see you look great and enjoy amazing food!

    There are some days when everything seems difficult and hard to manage but they don't last,
    it is going to feel easier soon, and you can get back on track.
    1234 days ago
    I'm grateful for you, you're such an inspiration to me. You never seem to shy away from self examination, from facing the hard questions. Sure, I guess that occasionally you drag your feet on that -lol - but you do it.
    You know what to do, I know you'll do it! emoticon
    Good to see you here!
    1234 days ago
    Welcome back! And you've got this. I wasn't even at maintenance but gained back 10 lbs after starting a new job and hit the "panic button" too. We know how to do this and can do it again!
    1235 days ago
    You can do it. You know what to do. It does help to write it down like this. emoticon
    1235 days ago
    So sweet.Was looking for the share button. (FB)LOL.Looks like you had a blast.Life is about so much more than beating ourselves up.Get control of your situation and have some fun.Work out loose the weight but have fun.
    1235 days ago
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