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The Battle in the Mind

Sunday, January 15, 2017

OK so ever since writing my blog post I've been doing SO WELL it's really amazing how blogging and talking and getting comments of support really help give you a mental shift and boost and strengthen you to do what you need to do! Like seriously! Thank you soooo much! I appreciate each and every one of you!

I've been doing pretty good getting a deficit almost every day and the scale has started to move a little bit back to where it should be! I'd love to have at least 5lbs back off by my birthday of March 4th and I think that I can do that easily even with wiggle room for doing things like going out dancing etc. and I would love for the full amount to be off by our next Performance which will be April 2nd. If not the full amount then very close to it! But I think it is realistic to aim for that.

I didn't get a chance to mention that all my clothes are still fitting so this the perfect time to really jolt my brain back to where it should be to keep going on the path that I love the best! I read one of my sparkfriend Holly's blog post about needing to adjust herself and one of the motivating things for her is loving her current clothing! And that's something that is also motivating to me...I would be sooo sad to not be able to fit them anymore it would be heartbreaking!

It's also a point where only I can notice the difference really, but isn't that a good place to catch yourself rather than letting it get even further out of hand?

Recently I watched all the seasons of Gilmore Girls and it was really upsetting to me to watch them eat sooooo crazy, never exercise and yet be PERFECT...you know in real life those actresses do NOT live like that at all...there's no way they could! I just feel like it fed into that fantasy and an "unfair" feeling. I know there is some people out there who are able to do that and I don't see them as unfair I figure that's cool for them. I think what bothered me was the attitude of spreading the fantasy more than how some people, rare they may be, can actually do that. The vast majority just can't. I am one of those people, and I CHOOSE how I wish to be and my choice is where I am right now...I enjoy it so I need to remember that in those moments I start to feel emotional stuff and just want to do whatever I want without thought to a single consequence.

The thing is...I know what it's like to do it all unchecked...and where that gets me...it got me to 214lbs! And that wasn't fun! It was painful! In so many ways! It's NOT WORTH IT! AND on top of all that it's a lie to think that you cannot enjoy life and food and yet maintain a healthy weight I am also proof of that! So when my old mental grief over this was coming up it's like what the heck!!! I know better than this!!! I KNOW BETTER and I've lived that "better" too!

The biggest thing for me is the mental stuff! Seriously all the rest just kinda falls into place if I have my mental stuff where it needs to be. All the rest can be adjusted and played with which is also a important thing to be able to do. It's like when you start feeling all that war of unfair etc. you have to adjust your mind and what you are doing so that it feels happy again! My "I Can Has"!!! What feels "I Can Has" and do that!

Last night on the way home I was feeling emotional about some things and I started feeling like I just want to splurge and have Ice Cream and it was rough feeling like I just wanted to drown my sorrows in ICE CREAM...but I told my Hubby about it and I was like I know it's just me feeling emotional and that ice cream won't help at all it will just make me feel worse...so I thought what would help me feel better. And this might sound silly but I was like...I just wanna get home and snuggle up with my hubby. It's soo comforting and safe and that's really what I wanted. And once I found that it took the pressure off wanting Ice Cream and instead I was looking forward to getting to snuggle up. That was an "I Can Has" for real! LOL

Another thing that I've been noticing about myself that has changed is that I've started to enjoy group exercise MORE than by myself now! Talk about jaw dropping info to myself! I used to prefer solo stuff! In fact I started out doing Zumba on my Wii in my home and then also with a friend which was super fun. But now I'm like nahhh I don't wanna do it at home I want to GO to Zumba Class!!! AND I do twice a week! I also think that if I join a Yoga Class and also possibly something like Crossfit that would be helpful as well. We are going to be closing on a house on Friday that is 30min. closer to EVERYTHING yet the same amount of drive time for Hubby's work!!! YAY YAY YAY so being nearer things that I can join will be a huge bonus for me! I also would like to look into finding Aqua Zumba. ALSO one of my Meetup Friends lives there and goes walking so I can join her walking too!

Anyway with all the emotional healing that I have been doing through these years I've found that I enjoy social things so much more now! Knowing that I have my Zumba Class to go to has helped motivate me during my difficult times so much! I'm very grateful for it!

SO I guess I'll leave off here my friends! emoticon

***Note: I actually have met some people who can't gain weight no matter what they do and they get a lot of hate for it so I was kinda trying to stick up for them just as much as for the rest of us. BUT for the most part it's soooo untrue that people never see the consequences of their eating habits in weight gain which is what upset me about how the Gilmore Girls ate etc. It's just soo fantasy unrealistic! I've also known people who were like them when younger and then it catches up to them later in life! LOL AND then there's the people who it seems like they eat anything but they are so picky for certain reasons that it prevents them from overeating. It just requires looking closer at the specifics of people to see what's really going on with them.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow. Good.
    838 days ago
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    1211 days ago
  • _LINDA
    emoticon working on the mindset and getting outside your comfort zone to find out its actually enjoyable! I found at an early age I loved going to workout classes, but was a complete recluse otherwise avoiding social situations. I wanted to learn bridge as I heard it was a challenging game but had also heard the local club was clique and very critical of anyone not measuring up. Having no experience with the game at all, it took me ten years to muster up the courage to finally go take lessons. One was all it took. I found I had a knack for the game and was quickly accepted into the club. I had found a niche that brought me out of my shell. I still had painful shy moments that almost made me quit, but I hung in and achieved higher rankings in the game faster than anyone they had seen before. It really is the mind that holds you back from achieving your goals. Conquer that and the world is your oyster. You have done an amazing job with it!
    emoticon emoticon
    1222 days ago
    Fessing up to an ice cream day myself. The beauty now is it's not the end of the world and it's not the beginning of a total upset world either. Let it go and move on with my head held high.
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    1222 days ago
    Loved your blog, and I want to give you a very big emoticon for your paragraph about liking your current clothing, and not wanting to have to go out and buy more in a bigger size. I'm at my goal weight, in my 58th week of maintenance, and I admit to buying the clothes I'm currently fitting into with the idea that I was going to remain around the same weight as I reached at goal, which was 60kg.

    I battle some nights after having eaten three enjoyable, filling, balanced meals each day, when for no apparent reason, I suddenly have an almost irresistible 'need' to eat something high carb or high sugar. I gave into it for a few nights, but now my go to remedy is to grab another bottle of water, drink the entire 750ml., then if I can still honestly say I'm hungry, I'll grab a Ryvita and eat it with a very thin smear of jam. That's it, nothing more. I know I'm limited to one only, and am not willing to give in to having a second.

    Wishing you well, and also for your upcoming dance performance!

    1223 days ago
  • MARTHA324

    It finally hit me that most people who are thin work at. For years I thought was poor me who had to pay attention to what I ate and to exercise. That was an important mind shift. Like you I love my skinny jeans and the way I look and can move. It's all worth it.


    1223 days ago
    1223 days ago
  • THOMS1
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    1223 days ago
    1223 days ago
    when i was young, i was one of those people who could eat everything - what a shock when that changed! you've really got it, especially loved the part about a snuggle instead of ice cream! hubby is definitely cozier than the cold, white sticky stuff...
    1223 days ago
    You rock :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
    1224 days ago
    emoticon I think we are always battling with our minds. We have those emotional days where we just can't quite figure out why we want to eat and so in those days it helps us to find our triggers so that we can grab a hold of those temptations and nip them in the bud! Then there are those days where we did exceptionally well and we avoided all temptations and for that we need to be really proud of ourselves! However, I feel for the times we do fall off the wagon that we can get right back up and we don't need to feel like we have failed. That is where the positive self talk comes in that we are worth and we can do this, and hopefully we learned something from those experiences.
    You mentioned favorite clothes. I have some of those that just feel so good sliding into them and I have other clothes that I don't want to wear because they remind me of the weight I have gained back. I won't let that stop me because I know I can make them feel good again.
    Best wishes for 2017 and I hope all goes well for you! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1224 days ago
    Loved your blog, "battle in the mind" is something I wasn't expecting when I started. I thought it was what I put in my mouth that had to change :) !!!
    1224 days ago
  • WBERRY57
    Wow! Really well said! I find that the "battle in the mind" is by far the largest hurdle. I love Jessica Smith TV when I am at home is great! Not only does she have great exercise video's but she is so positive and has lots of wise sayings I love to remember when I'm struggling. My favourite is still "whether you think you can or can't you're always right" (can't remember where she got it from! but still love it!) I say this to myself whenever I come across a tricky time.
    1224 days ago
    Sounds like you've got this and are doing well. Substituting snuggle for ice cream was a good idea. It's a win-win for sure.
    1224 days ago
  • ELAINEB1972
    1224 days ago
    Good for you... catching the changes in how your clothes fit... now!

    emoticon I've been watching Gilmore Girls over the past few weeks (missed it the first time around I guess) and I noticed the exact same thing - their terrible eating habits and food choices (except Friday night dinners with the grandparents!) I don't believe anyone could look as healthy as they do by living on giant cups of coffee, cheeseburgers, and donuts!
    1224 days ago
    Woo Hoo you! We all need support from one another. It goes such a long way. I'm glad you got your snuggle with hubby. What a great distraction! Again Woo Hoo you! Also glad you are moving closer to things. Especially friends!

    1224 days ago
    Hello fellow Pisces!!! (I'm March 2nd) I love it when we find things that will make us feel better instead of the food (you are ice cream...I am wine) LOL And I did the same thing to my hubby...last minght I told him about my stresses, that I didn't want to feel alone in going through them and he turned and gave me a huge hug! It's sometimes all you need! Keep up the blogging...because together, we can do this!!! nice job!!! emoticon emoticon
    1224 days ago
    Sounds like you are in control.
    I know sometimes I look at someone skinny and wonder why I can't be like that.
    But then I realize we are all different.
    Family history, environment, age all plays a part in how we manage our weight.
    What I do know is staying in shape is work.
    I too love my clothes. besides my healthy fitness, so I'll continue to do my best to stay on track.
    Wish you the best.
    Spark on. emoticon
    1224 days ago
    What a super blog! Blogging and tapping into the community support network really helps me too: and it's so great to catch any little weight blips up BEFORE we can't wear our fave clothes (big motivator for Maintaining for me too!!)
    1224 days ago
  • GRACED777
    I appreciated the I can has so much. Thank you! emoticon
    1224 days ago
    It is mostly a mental game for certain. Congrats on rolling with the changes. You have got this down!
    1224 days ago
  • LYNCHD05
    Sounds like your whole life is on track. Moving closer to all the things you love is pretty awesome too.
    You are doing all the right things so that 5 pounds will be gone before you know it!!, way to go!
    1224 days ago
    emoticon emoticon loved your blog! I'm going to take your advise and snuggle instead of stuff! emoticon
    1224 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    Congrats on being featured blog. You deserve it. Way to be awesome. We are in it for the long haul!
    1224 days ago
    Lucky you being able to eat ice cream rationally. Not me, tried it and it was a disaster. Even after maintaining for 4 years and knowing all about portion control, I just can't have it in the house. If I know it is in the house, I will eat it until it is gone. Then I crave it and will buy more unless I stop myself. I know it can't be in the house, good thing I live alone. Now popsicles or Italian ice I can control. If I go to my Mom's I can smell if she has ice cream in the house, I swear it. It won't be in the house for long, that's for sure. My brother who lives with her to take care of her knows if I am coming over, put the ice cream in the cellar freezer. emoticon
    1224 days ago
    So right, it's all between the ears! We can do this! And having the blogs of others to remind us of why it's important... awesome. Thanks for this one!
    1224 days ago
    Only in fiction (or on ads for weight loss miracle aids) can people eat like pigs and never pay the price in fat.
    1224 days ago
    So glad that you are doing well and Holly's blog really spoke to me too! emoticon

    " I know there is some people out there who are able to do that [eat so crazy] and I don't see them as unfair I figure that's cool for them."

    You know what ... I have heard this so much over the course of my life because I have spent a good part of it thin. But, guess what? It ain't true!!! It's a myth. There is no such thing as naturally thin.

    Those of us that are thin are thin because we eat within our body's ability to burn it and those of us that are thin are not living within bodies with turbocharged metabolic boosters. Sure ... some of us may be more prone to burn calories a bit easier than some. But, it isn't as much as folks think. It's called choices. So, yeah, don't believe it.
    1224 days ago
    Sounds like are doing really well and have the right mindset to get this done. emoticon
    1224 days ago
  • GABY1948
    SO glad you are doing so well! You are inspiring us all!

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    1224 days ago
    Things are going so well for you, hooray!
    As always a very thoughtful blog post. You always have such clear ruminations.
    Congrats on the renewed social exercising, good for you in more ways than solo work. And congrats on the new house. Thirty minutes is huge in many ways! emoticon
    1225 days ago
    I'm glad you are doing so well,
    and congrats to handling the desire to eat ice cream rationally.
    1225 days ago
    The "I Can Has" ... Love it. Thanks for the motivational post!
    1225 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    Thanks so much for the comment on my blog and for the shout out here! I so agree with you that the support and encouragement that I received after writing that blog puts me right back where I know I have to be and happy to be there. I just cannot imagine life without all of the awesome people that walk this journey with me.
    Thanks for being one of those awesome people!
    All the best to you as we continue on. I wish I was one of those people that could eat everything and not gain, but sometimes I think I can gain just by looking at the sugary sweets in the bakery section. LOL!
    But as you said in your blog and mine, I love my skinny jeans, I love the clothes I wear and I feel good in them. I just feel so good when I am healthy and fit and trim so for that reason, I will kick my own butt and do what I have to do.
    Keep up the great work. Congrats on buying a house.
    Good luck on your dance performance as well. That sounds like so much fun.
    1225 days ago
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