OK so ever since writing my blog post I've been doing SO WELL it's really amazing how blogging and talking and getting comments of support really help give you a mental shift and boost and strengthen you to do what you need to do! Like seriously! Thank you soooo much! I appreciate each and every one of you!
I've been doing pretty good getting a deficit almost every day and the scale has started to move a little bit back to where it should be! I'd love to have at least 5lbs back off by my birthday of March 4th and I think that I can do that easily even with wiggle room for doing things like going out dancing etc. and I would love for the full amount to be off by our next Performance which will be April 2nd. If not the full amount then very close to it! But I think it is realistic to aim for that.
I didn't get a chance to mention that all my clothes are still fitting so this the perfect time to really jolt my brain back to where it should be to keep going on the path that I love the best! I read one of my sparkfriend Holly's blog post about needing to adjust herself and one of the motivating things for her is loving her current clothing! And that's something that is also motivating to me...I would be sooo sad to not be able to fit them anymore it would be heartbreaking!
It's also a point where only I can notice the difference really, but isn't that a good place to catch yourself rather than letting it get even further out of hand?
Recently I watched all the seasons of Gilmore Girls and it was really upsetting to me to watch them eat sooooo crazy, never exercise and yet be PERFECT...you know in real life those actresses do NOT live like that at all...there's no way they could! I just feel like it fed into that fantasy and an "unfair" feeling. I know there is some people out there who are able to do that and I don't see them as unfair I figure that's cool for them. I think what bothered me was the attitude of spreading the fantasy more than how some people, rare they may be, can actually do that. The vast majority just can't. I am one of those people, and I CHOOSE how I wish to be and my choice is where I am right now...I enjoy it so I need to remember that in those moments I start to feel emotional stuff and just want to do whatever I want without thought to a single consequence.
The thing is...I know what it's like to do it all unchecked...and where that gets me...it got me to 214lbs! And that wasn't fun! It was painful! In so many ways! It's NOT WORTH IT! AND on top of all that it's a lie to think that you cannot enjoy life and food and yet maintain a healthy weight I am also proof of that! So when my old mental grief over this was coming up it's like what the heck!!! I know better than this!!! I KNOW BETTER and I've lived that "better" too!
The biggest thing for me is the mental stuff! Seriously all the rest just kinda falls into place if I have my mental stuff where it needs to be. All the rest can be adjusted and played with which is also a important thing to be able to do. It's like when you start feeling all that war of unfair etc. you have to adjust your mind and what you are doing so that it feels happy again! My "I Can Has"!!! What feels "I Can Has" and do that!
Last night on the way home I was feeling emotional about some things and I started feeling like I just want to splurge and have Ice Cream and it was rough feeling like I just wanted to drown my sorrows in ICE CREAM...but I told my Hubby about it and I was like I know it's just me feeling emotional and that ice cream won't help at all it will just make me feel worse...so I thought what would help me feel better. And this might sound silly but I was like...I just wanna get home and snuggle up with my hubby. It's soo comforting and safe and that's really what I wanted. And once I found that it took the pressure off wanting Ice Cream and instead I was looking forward to getting to snuggle up. That was an "I Can Has" for real! LOL
Another thing that I've been noticing about myself that has changed is that I've started to enjoy group exercise MORE than by myself now! Talk about jaw dropping info to myself! I used to prefer solo stuff! In fact I started out doing Zumba on my Wii in my home and then also with a friend which was super fun. But now I'm like nahhh I don't wanna do it at home I want to GO to Zumba Class!!! AND I do twice a week! I also think that if I join a Yoga Class and also possibly something like Crossfit that would be helpful as well. We are going to be closing on a house on Friday that is 30min. closer to EVERYTHING yet the same amount of drive time for Hubby's work!!! YAY YAY YAY so being nearer things that I can join will be a huge bonus for me! I also would like to look into finding Aqua Zumba. ALSO one of my Meetup Friends lives there and goes walking so I can join her walking too!
Anyway with all the emotional healing that I have been doing through these years I've found that I enjoy social things so much more now! Knowing that I have my Zumba Class to go to has helped motivate me during my difficult times so much! I'm very grateful for it!
SO I guess I'll leave off here my friends!
***Note: I actually have met some people who can't gain weight no matter what they do and they get a lot of hate for it so I was kinda trying to stick up for them just as much as for the rest of us. BUT for the most part it's soooo untrue that people never see the consequences of their eating habits in weight gain which is what upset me about how the Gilmore Girls ate etc. It's just soo fantasy unrealistic! I've also known people who were like them when younger and then it catches up to them later in life! LOL AND then there's the people who it seems like they eat anything but they are so picky for certain reasons that it prevents them from overeating. It just requires looking closer at the specifics of people to see what's really going on with them.