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Day 126

Friday, February 03, 2017

emoticon I ate a cookie last night. I dreamed I got up and had a cookie and lo and behold this morning one was gone. I ate three cookies yesterday. This is what binging looks like to me now. A lot better than it used to be when I would eat the whole box/bag of cookies. I was tempted to, but I knew my blood sugar could not handle it. Probably didn't handle what I ate very well. I feel awful this morning, boo, high blood sugar. And I feel awful about yesterday. But I can't let that derail me from my path. I must stay the course even if I got off track there for a little while.

emoticon My main goal for this week is to stick to my program. Healthy veggies and lean protein. Fruit as a dessert (and the right kind of figs really are a dessert!). Shakes, shakes, shakes!! And did I mention shakes? No more snacking off plan. Yes carrots and hummus are healthy, but they are not on plan.

emoticon I was eating emotionally yesterday. I was stressed and my anxiety was through the roof. I'm making new plans and planning on going new places and that always sets my anxiety spinning. Then stuff with family came up. 'Nuff said about that. I discovered, thanks to a friend, that the libraries really do offer a lot of stuff for the kiddos. I want to get more involved with the library now. But one of the most active libraries (there are four in the county) is in a very busy part of town that I don't normally go to. I'm going to have to get over it and try going. It has a lot of activities including things for homeschoolers.

This is me and my bff. We see each other almost every week, but we don't make plans till the day of or one day before, because we know each other. We make tentative plans, like we are going to have a valentine's party for our kids. But we don't know what day, we play it by ear and see what day we both feel good. LOL. Why? Because we both have anxiety and are introverts and need time to refuel after hard days, so we know that some days/weeks, it just won't work, and we are totally cool with that. I love it. Part of me is a planner, I love plans, I like writing it down and knowing when it is going to happen. But the other part of me knows my anxiety is worse on some days, some days I can go places, some days I can't. We just roll with it, and I'm so lucky to have someone who understands that.

I love this saying. I am both. And that is okay.

Hope you have a wonderful day and TGIF!! emoticon
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