I lost my focus this last week. I ate what I wanted, I was sick so I couldn't work out to burn up the extra calories, I ate more than I should, I just lost it. So I'm posting this picture of a spot found on the Appalachian Trail where I will be hiking in September, I'll get to see this for reals. But I have to focus and stay on plan. I can't have weeks like this last week again. I gained, I know I did, but I don't know how much, I'll find out on Monday. Boo. But I did this to myself. I have to face it and move on with more determination.
I don't feel like doing anything, I just want to curl up in a ball and make the world go away. I'm still sick, but honestly I don't know if I feel so bad I can't work out or if I'm so depressed I feel that bad. I'm going to make myself work out tomorrow... unless I'm dizzy, I'm not messing with the vertigo, but I should be able to. I'm feeling overwhelmed. My anxiety is acting up and that is not helping the depression. I'm trying to have a cheery outlook, but it's not really helping.
So my doc wants me to take a preventative approach with my anxiety meds. Take it on a schedule so that my anxiety hopefully won't get too bad. I've been using it as a rescue med only, just take it when I need it. But he says this should make it where I don't have as many anxiety attacks. I don't like that it makes me drowsy. I like having as much energy as I do, or had before I got sick and then depressed. I'm starting today. I'm also going to start my paint by number today. Below is the one I'm going to do. It is very intricate and a lot more difficult than I thought it would be for a beginner one, but I'm going to give it a go and see how I do at it.
I'll post pictures as I go along. Oh, I forgot to get pictures of the owl paintings! I'll have to do that tomorrow.
DH is in tooth pain again. I've offered to go off of the program I'm on so that we can save the money to get his teeth fixed. He insists I stay on it. He says that if we would just stop eating out it would save us a lot of mone. Problem solved, I won't go out to eat again if he won't! We need to get his teeth taken care of and not wait till emergencies to do so.
Tooth pain or no I finally talked to him about the whole homeschool CC situation. I love CC, I think it is a great program, but it just doesn't work for oldest DD. She just doesn't learn that way. I've been wrestling with this for a while, and finally decided we need to do something else. He agrees and now I'm working on plan B. I've found a science curriculum I like, but grammar is a tough one. The way that CC did grammar... I'm betting my girls are behind on grammar. So what to do? I need something flexible that covers all the basis. Oh boy. History... I'm not sure. I've heard of some really good ones, but none are coming to mind right now. I'm going to take my time and find something not too expensive that will work for us, and til then we'll get books from the library and learn that way. I need to make a list... Oh boy!
So that is kinda what is going on, depression, anxiety, ear/sinus infection, homeschool, painting, yeah. It was a busy week, we went somewhere every day. That is a lot for me. And I have to cancel all of my therapy appointments for this month. DH usually watches the kids so I can go, but this month he can't due to work. Poo.
But, chin up, and keep moving forward! One step at a time and I can do this!