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Just a Little Cereal... (okay, maybe a lot)

Monday, February 06, 2017

I'm an emotional eater. It was a hard day. My DD gave up on her schoolwork and simply refused to 'get it'. I'm behind a week on my writing in my school planner on what we do. We are changing curriculum and I have to figure out what we are going to change over to fast so we can order it by Thursday. I'm still not over my sinus/ear infection and can't workout. I have to figure out what to do for my next crochet class by tomorrow. Lots of stresses. So when everybody went upstairs so I could work on logging the changes and catching up...

... I had a bowl of Golden Puff Cereal. Yes I did. A big one. Anxiety and stress and being overly emotional (if oldest DD can't learn from me then she has to go to Public School and 'giving up' means she is not learning from me...We have to have a major talk). Then suddenly I'm feeling horrible. Bad. My ears are aching more, I'm dizzy, I have no energy, I just don't feel right. I told DH about the sudden onset and how I must be getting the 'second wind' on this sinus infection and he told me to check my blood sugar (BS). Yup. 174. Not good. No wonder I feel like crap. It's been in normal ranges til I go and do something stupid and eat a bunch of sugary nonsense. And I SO know better. And that is just like 10 minutes after eating the cereal, it's still digesting and pumping more sugar out to me. I have to keep an eye on it and if it gets any worse, I have to get on the treadmill. I don't have insulin, working out is my only means of getting my blood sugar down. It works, but man is it hard to work out when you feel like crap like this. I'm going to get some protein and some veggies in me to help slow it down.

So what am I learning? That what I said today is true and I can't give in like this. I can't eat like I used to at all, not even a little bit. I have to eat healthy. Not eating healthy is like asking to be sick and feeling horrible like this. For real, that is what eating not healthy is to me. Deciding to feel bad, to be unhealthy, to make myself worse. I have to get this under control.

So, I'm going to go to the store and get some more veggies. I can't not have veggies to eat available and ready to go, I'll eat something else otherwise and it will end up being bad. I have to think of things differently. I have to change how my family eats too. I can't have all these sweets and potato chips and munchies around. They are tempting beyond belief. No matter how many times I say, "food is my medicine", sometimes I want those fresh, hot cinnamon rolls right out of the oven. And that is definitely not medicine.

I will remember this next time I reach or a sweet and think I can just have one. No matter how good my numbers are, no matter how well I'm doing, I still have diabetes, and that means I can't just eat whatever I want. I'm trying to be healthy and lose weight and that means I can't just eat whatever I want. No matter how emotional, stressed, anxious or whatever I get, I have to think before I eat.

And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go lay down, I really do feel awful. Don't worry, I'm still going to keep an eye on my BS and make sure it doesn't get too high.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow! Lots going on! Take a deep breathe and just sit for a few minutes and be still. Follow your intuition and treat yourself well. Don't give up! emoticon
    1146 days ago
    Have you looked into Online Public school? Miranda is at Connections Academy right now and they are awesome. If you are looking for a middle ground between actual public school and Homeschool, it's a good option. I want to homeschool Miranda but I feel we'd run into a lot of roadblocks around here.. mostly her not wanting to do schoolwork and me not knowing what to do about it. lol She's still home and it's still on your own schedule, but it takes the stress off of trying to find the right kind of work for her to do and you being the teacher. Sometimes kids just don't respond great to their parents, I've seen people send their kids to PS when they get to the teenage years because the parents just can't do it anymore. The kids aren't cooperating and they are getting further behind. I did the opposite, Pulled mine when she went into middleschool. lol But it's never that simple. I was scared to even do that and we aren't even homeschooling Exactly. I see you have a lot on your plate. Having a bowl of cereal won't be the end of everything.. and stress is a huge deal for me and eating as well, I do better when I have less of it. I really hope you can figure out the school thing soon. I feel ya. I spent the first 4 months of this year crying and screaming and telling her I was sending her back. It was too much and she wouldn't cooperate. We've finally found the right school and program and things have calmed down a ton now that there's no set schedule. She was doing school tonight at 6pm. lol emoticon
    1146 days ago
    I am sorry you felt so lousy. Keep things simple and do able. I see a lot of people go over board and it causes a lot of stress aggravation and they give up cause it was to hard. I know my plan seems to simple to work but I think that is why I can stick to it. I weigh myself every morning just to be mindful of what I eat. Then I track all my food on the journal. Then I already know what I will do for exercise it is already set up just click play then I blog my exercise. I know my dad has tried books and plans and all kinds of stuff but I just committed to 21 days and once that came and went I did 30 days I think Sparks can help a lot if you don't get sucked into being online forever reading ha, ha. Keep going forward and never give up you can do it!
    1146 days ago
    You've got a lot on your Plate. I hope taking care of you, blesses your socks off! You deserve it!
    1146 days ago
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