Just a Little Cereal... (okay, maybe a lot)
Monday, February 06, 2017
I'm an emotional eater. It was a hard day. My DD gave up on her schoolwork and simply refused to 'get it'. I'm behind a week on my writing in my school planner on what we do. We are changing curriculum and I have to figure out what we are going to change over to fast so we can order it by Thursday. I'm still not over my sinus/ear infection and can't workout. I have to figure out what to do for my next crochet class by tomorrow. Lots of stresses. So when everybody went upstairs so I could work on logging the changes and catching up...
... I had a bowl of Golden Puff Cereal. Yes I did. A big one. Anxiety and stress and being overly emotional (if oldest DD can't learn from me then she has to go to Public School and 'giving up' means she is not learning from me...We have to have a major talk). Then suddenly I'm feeling horrible. Bad. My ears are aching more, I'm dizzy, I have no energy, I just don't feel right. I told DH about the sudden onset and how I must be getting the 'second wind' on this sinus infection and he told me to check my blood sugar (BS). Yup. 174. Not good. No wonder I feel like crap. It's been in normal ranges til I go and do something stupid and eat a bunch of sugary nonsense. And I SO know better. And that is just like 10 minutes after eating the cereal, it's still digesting and pumping more sugar out to me. I have to keep an eye on it and if it gets any worse, I have to get on the treadmill. I don't have insulin, working out is my only means of getting my blood sugar down. It works, but man is it hard to work out when you feel like crap like this. I'm going to get some protein and some veggies in me to help slow it down.
So what am I learning? That what I said today is true and I can't give in like this. I can't eat like I used to at all, not even a little bit. I have to eat healthy. Not eating healthy is like asking to be sick and feeling horrible like this. For real, that is what eating not healthy is to me. Deciding to feel bad, to be unhealthy, to make myself worse. I have to get this under control.
So, I'm going to go to the store and get some more veggies. I can't not have veggies to eat available and ready to go, I'll eat something else otherwise and it will end up being bad. I have to think of things differently. I have to change how my family eats too. I can't have all these sweets and potato chips and munchies around. They are tempting beyond belief. No matter how many times I say, "food is my medicine", sometimes I want those fresh, hot cinnamon rolls right out of the oven. And that is definitely not medicine.
I will remember this next time I reach or a sweet and think I can just have one. No matter how good my numbers are, no matter how well I'm doing, I still have diabetes, and that means I can't just eat whatever I want. I'm trying to be healthy and lose weight and that means I can't just eat whatever I want. No matter how emotional, stressed, anxious or whatever I get, I have to think before I eat.
And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go lay down, I really do feel awful. Don't worry, I'm still going to keep an eye on my BS and make sure it doesn't get too high.