Day 140/ Oops I hit the send button!
Friday, February 17, 2017
I wrote two blogs on my site CrouchingFlea yesterday. One was part of my testimony, how I was saved and how the church literally saved me when I was younger. The other, much longer blog is on what is going on right now with me. I have felt led to share my testimony with the Pastor for two years now, but it is long and I've never done it. So last night I get up in the middle of the night and what do I feel led to do? Write a blog about a small part of my life and how I was saved and how the church was there for me in my darkest hour. Or at least God was. So I'm writing a message to the Pastor of the church, and I'm thinking, maybe I shouldn't send this, he is too busy, this is too personal, I'm asking too much (I added what a rough time I'm going through and that I would like his help) and I go to hit the space button and I hit enter!!! So I guess God took that out of my hands and it has been sent whether I have doubts of sending it or not. I'm in knots about it. I can see from FB that he has seen it. Now to just wait for a response.
I wrote a long blog post on how I'm doing. Not good basically. Last night was worse. Though the meds to help me not dream seem to be working though, no flashbacks last night and barely any dreams. But last night was worse in many ways.
My therapist is squeezing me in today, even though her office is closed. I feel totally unworthy. I am so blessed to have her in my life.
I'll post more later on how things go with the Pastor, if he responds and also with my therapist. I'm on eggshells.