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Sunday Ramblings

Sunday, April 02, 2017

Anxiety hit me like a mac truck yesterday. I was fine, grocery shopping with the family, trying to get everything on both of our lists (he's gearing up for grilling season) and then I couldn't breath. Heart pounding. Sweating like crazy. DH sent me to the deli area to get a drink and sit and take a moment. Only with anxiety you can't just sit and do one thing for too long. So we (my youngest was sent to keep an eye on me, LOL, more like keep her out of DH's way - she's 9) found some new hummus and crackers to go with it. We forgot the rest of what was on my list, so I have all this stuff for vegan smoothies and no coconut or almond milk or fruit juice to go in it.

I got home and tried to help put away the groceries, but was more in the way than anything. Ate my lunch ( was actually hungry) and went and laid down and let the medicine work. I was tossing and turning and sweating and heart pounding and gasping for breath for 3-4 hours. Oh and I slept some after the meds kicked in enough.

Put an update on my fundraising campaign. Not many people know what it is like to have anxiety this bad. I kept apologizing to DH. I don't want to be like that. I keep thinking that a service dog could have stopped the episode altogether. The dog would have been able to tell the signs of the attack before I did and warned me to take my meds and cut off the attack before it happened.

We've decided no eating out. None. Wastes too much money. We may get fast food on rare occasions when we just absolutely are starving and must get something, but no more going out to eat at nice places. There are a few exceptions, but for the most part we can cook just as good or better than the places we like to go eat. Obviously I can't get raw oysters at home. Or if I did I'm not sure I'd trust them, LOL. So no eating out unless we just are out and forgot snacks and must and even then it will be something cheapy-cheap. We need to be saving money.

We are saving money for two things. DH has awful teeth, they must almost all of them come out and partial dentures be put in. That is the first thing we are going to take care of, but we have pretty good insurance so hoping that will cover a lot. Secondly, I'm realizing not many people really care about a fundraiser for me trying to get a service dog. Don't get me wrong, there are some that are and have donated and share my every update. But after the initial interest, it has waned some. So I'm thinking most of the money will have to come from us saving. That is hard because when we get a decent savings, it is like it is burning a hole in DH's pocket and he must spend it. I think I'm going to open a separate savings just for my dog. Maybe make it a checking so that when it comes time to pay for the dog I don't have to do a lot of transfering about.

I still have not heard back from my church and while the executive pastor is very supportive, I've not heard a peep, not a comment, nothing, out of the main pastor. His silence on this is deafening. If is wasn't for a few people in the church I like, I'd be looking for another church. Don't tell me he is too busy. I posted on FB about a smoothie I made and he liked It. I posted on needing a service dog and he is silent. Hm. Plus before I went into the hospital I sent him a plea for help, and never got a response, but as you know FB shows you that they have seen it. I don't know what to make of it. I will talk about it to the executive pastor.

Anyway, it's early and I'm rambling. I'll stop and hope I didn't ramble for too long! Hope you have a wonderful Sunday
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Yeah, unfortunately, people are really supportive until you come asking for money. I'm not surprised the church is quiet. I've heard time and time again about churches not donating to the causes of their people that are usually there helping keeping them running. everything from really big things, like one of the church members losing their home to fires, to smaller things.. like donating to dog funds. Don't think it's just your church. It's a common thing. Sad but true.

    Really, the only way you're going to get this dog, honestly, is to do it yourself. To think everyone else was going to fund it was nice, but not realistic. Think outside the box. What can you sell? yard sales this summer? Old school books the kids aren't using anymore? Bigger things, maybe even cars or fun things, boats, ATVs, whatever. Most people don't just have stuff laying around like that, I know I don't, but thought I'd bring it up just in case. Are you crafty at all? can you make anything that you can sell? I'm around a lot of people that fund raise for adoptions and these are the kinds of things they do. they have GFM accounts too, but it seems most of them get the biggest amounts of money from selling things or getting grants or loans. Have you looked into grants for this kind of stuff? There's companies out there that give amounts of money to people that are struggling for different reasons. Definitely get a savings account separate for this money. Capitalone360 has a really good interest rate, and thats hard to find for accounts like these. Check out Dave ramsey, he's a money guy and he's mostly about paying off debts, and saving money. You might find something helpful there. Time to bet on yourself. :)
    1266 days ago
    I was just reading about service dogs and companion dogs. There is a difference. A dog or cat from the Humane Society may become just what you need.
    1266 days ago
  • EISSA7
    Take care...hope that your Sunday is healthy and happy!
    1266 days ago
  • no profile photo ROSSYFLOSSY
    Anxiety is a nasty beast.
    1266 days ago
  • no profile photo CD17612210
    I do actually understand completely.. Been treated for mental illnesss for over 20 years and my debilitating anxiety fuels my other problems. Your day sounds like many days I've experienced, so take care x
    1266 days ago
    Good luck and God bless you
    1266 days ago
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