We celebrated all weekend, but my actual birthday is today. I Had a grand weekend! DH has to work all day and late today so that is why we celebrated over the weekend. I feel so loved and thoroughly spoiled. We went to Red Lobster for lunch on Saturday, and Target to pick up some big oversized fluffy towels I've been wanting. Then off to a seafood market we trust to get some fresh from the bay oysters and fish. We invited over some friends and MIL and FIL and grilled the fish and some chicken and veggies. FIL shucked the oysters and we had fresh raw oysters (YUM!), I must have had like 2 dozen! And DH made my favorite cake, Dessert Rosa, from a restaurant that I won't mention that he used to work at. So much fruit and cake, so good! I got to blow out a candle at Red Lobster, and dessert was served in bowls at the get together, so no singing at the get together. *whew* I always feel so awkward when people sing to me.
But I miss it. My Mom used to always sing happy birthday to me, no matter what, even if she had to call me collect.
So that was Saturday. Sunday I slept a good portion of the day and when I awoke packages had arrived that the girls had decorated with markers. I was looking at a quilt online trying to decide if it was something I could possibly duplicate once I learn how to quilt and DH just couldn't stand it, I had to open the boxes right then! I got a 'quilt' (not very thick, may have to buy a blanket to go under it). I got a rice cooker and stuff to make sushi like I have been wanting for, well for a very long time. And I got a cheap fitness monitor that I've been wanting to try since my fitbit broke. Yay! I won't go into all I got, a lot of smaller stuff off my wishlist that I've been wanting for a while. I love that DH was so thoughtful!
So let's go back to Friday night/Saturday morning. I had horrible dreams, just terrible. About being held down, not able to speak, that kind of thing. And when I finally got out of bed I heard my therapist saying, "you need to see the forest for the trees." Something she said to me Wednesday. Yup, I had a monster to slay. I hate being unkind, at all. People were unkind to me my whole life, I hate being unkind or harsh at all. I always, always ask, would I want someone to say it to me, before I say things. No, I would not want this said to me. At all. But being harsh is the only way I'm going to get my point across to this person, the only way I'm going to slay my monster. She's been being horrible to me, her kids have been being horrible to my kids, I had to get "C" out of my life for good. Can you believe she ran to her husband and had her husband set up a lunch date with my husband to talk? Who does that?! What century am I in? (I was nicer than that in the message I sent her, but I made myself clear, we are no longer friends.) I told DH that as a grown a$$ woman I request that he not meet with her husband to discuss our relationship. He agrees and is canceling the lunch they had set up (plus this is his busy week, so he doesn't have the time).
So I finally sent the message. And it tore me up. I would not want someone to say that to me, ever. But she is the kind of person that, as I found out, if I try to say goodbye in a nice way, it just doesn't work. So I had more nightmares, but I found my voice in them, and I fought back. And that is a great breakthrough. My weekend started out rough and honestly, Sunday, I was so depressed I slept most of the day. That was one of the reasons DH had me open presents, to make me smile. And between the presents, and the kids drawings and the kids excitement and all that jazz, I got feeling better. I stayed awake till midnight, so I still only got four hours of sleep last night, but it was a good four hours.
So this morning, while I wait another hour to work out so I don't wake the kids too early, I'm going to learn how to work my rice cooker and get some brown rice going, just for the fun of it. Looks like it is going to take about an hour to cook. And I'm going to go through my new Bento cookbooks and see what delish recipes I can make from stuff I can make from what my favorite grocery store has (they actually have a lot of Asian foods, DH is going to take me to an Asian market once I make a list of what I need to make a bunch of recipes). Then I'll work out and all that jazz, and get to cleaning and cooking.
I'm going to spend today relaxed. I need it. I've been so stressed about C.... But I'm not going to think of that today. I'm going to slowly, in a very chill way, organize and clean my room and the kitchen (which has gotten out of hand, yikes!). I'm going to ask DH if this weekend he will help me clean the garage, it has also gotten out of hand as well. Because, I want to buy DH an old dresser and restore it. I think it will be fun. Then I want to buy one for me and do the same. My dresser has had it, if we try to move it, it will fall apart. And for when I finally get my service dog, I need to move my dresser to make room for my dog's bed to be by my bed. That will be a while, so I've got time. But i want to get a move on and get everything that I can accomplished as soon as I can.
Thank you for stopping by my birthday blog! I celebrated all weekend, so today is time to get back in routine and get stuff done, but in a very chill relaxed way. Will get back to my regularly scheduled program tomorrow.
LOL, Love that picture!
Have a Spark*tastic day!