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I'm One of Them?

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

It is so funny how we don't see ourselves and then are suddenly surprised when our image is portrayed to us via others. For instance, we don't see the weight we lose as much as when another person points it out to us in some way. For me, my blind spot consisted of my new "athletic prowess" lol. (That term seems so alien to describe myself as.) Back in March when I started this journey....I huffed and puffed with the slightest physical exertion. Jogging? Painful. Exhausting. Daunting. My flab jiggled all around me, my lungs were on fire, I couldn't catch my breath for ages, my feet grew numb, my shins hurt. But I kept pushing myself....every. single. day. Every day it's like my own challenge and I am the only participant. I try to push myself farther, longer. I've been exercising in the privacy of my own home. But this week, I decided to start exercising at a local public track. It is an interesting experience...when I see someone ahead of me either walking or jogging, I can't help but try to catch up to them and ultimately want to overtake them...as if we are racing...only they don't know it lol. I'm finding that this little game of mine is forcing me to push myself harder for longer. I even give these strangers nicknames...."Elsa" for the woman with the pretty blonde braid. "Avocado" for the lady who wears green head to toe..."Mr. Football" for the dude in the jersey.... So, when I'm lagging, I'll see "Elsa" going another lap and think to myself "Yep, gotta catch up to Elsa..." Maybe I'm demented, but it works. Without even thinking about it, I went for 4.7 miles yesterday on that track! That is farthest I've exercised thus far on this journey. Anyway, on to the highlight of yesterday....this track has a portion with a kinda steep little hill incline. Each time I get to this point, I make myself run up it. I hate hills so with all the determination in me, I push myself to run upwards. Well, yesterday as I was making yet another upward run...I passed two ladies walking in the opposite direction and I saw one signal to the other how impressive it was that I was running uphill. Me! They were impressed by....me? Then it dawned on me....I was the only one really pushing myself to jog in intervals around that track. Everyone else was pretty much just walking....leisurely. I had sweat dripping. My tank top back was soaked. My shoulders glistened with sweat. I remembered seeing other people looking as I did in that moment when I just started...I remembered how impressed I was of them for being able to do what seemed impossible to me at the time. Now...I was one of them! That thought gave me re-newed determination and I went around the track a couple more times like a race horse prancing around my own private victory circle! If only those ladies knew the daily battles I fought for the past several months to make it to this point. And...I can't wait to race them again this afternoon!
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