SP Premium
HUNNIBEE003
25,000-29,999 SparkPoints 25,006
SparkPoints
 

Deciding

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

I have been eating so much healthier lately! I have decided that "dieting" and eating less processed foods are not the same thing. I don't think I've lost any weight, but my skin looks fabulous, I am sleeping better and I am not on an emotional roller coaster despite several trying days and difficult decisions.
I feel better, but I'm still just as fat. This time around, for now, that's ok. I want my progress to stick. To be free from the food binges and the ugly moods that too much sugar brings on. Already in these early weeks I am more able to veer slightly "off plan" and then get right back on track. This feels so GOOD! This is balance right??
I don't want to worry about weight right now. I want my plan to fix my nutrition (eating healthier, whole foods), working on my portion control (I see weight loss coming in here) and finally tackling my stress trigger-stress eating responses.
This plan looks so slow and like so much work. Hard, emotional work. Work I've put off for so many years, quitting and diving head first into a box of cereal when it got to be too hard.
Slow seems like torture. Why can't I just lose all the extra weight first? Surely my problems will be easier when I'm 50 pounds thinner right? Wrong Brain, we tried this. I still had no skills to deal with stress, so I gave in to every craving that drifted in. I still felt lethargic and mopey when I had too much sugar and I relied on counting the calories of non-foods (chips, cookies, jams, candy) to lose weight, nutrition was way secondary to moving the scale. And then I gained it all back when I got bored of literally running my ass off and tracking every bite.
I am older, and busier and less invested in how other people want my butt to look like in jeans. I want to live while losing weight, not essentially lock myself away to control my habits and eating situations. I want to enjoy my family and my life while improving my health and shedding some of those vanity pounds too. That's slow, hard work and I'm ready to try.

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CINDY247
    I totally relate to your thoughts here! I feel the same way & I've learned to do what works for me & it's working slowly but surely it is ! You've got this! Best wishes for you!
    1229 days ago
  • START40TRISH
    emoticon
    1229 days ago
  • IWILLSTILLRISE
    emoticon
    1229 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.