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Cried myself to sleep

Saturday, May 20, 2017

So last night, as my husband was putting some salve on would I have, I was looking at myself in our full length mirror and just started crying over how far my stomach hangs over. I actually ended up crying myself to sleep. This morning my husband came to me and told me I broke his heart last night. So he has decided that he is going to help me with my weight loss goals. He's kind of an enabler because he knows how happy food makes me. He's seen my mood completely change after going out to eat. Plus, he doesn't want to be a douche to me by telling me what not to eat, because he also knows how emotional I am. An unfortunate part of depression. But today we're creating an action plan. I know they say you should meal prep, but I have a hard time eating reheated meat, or pretty much anything reheated. It just tastes weird to me and I end up eating with some kind of sauce to mask the taste which defeats the purpose of eating healthy. One of my biggest problems is portion control. My stomach (inside) is really not that big and if I would just listen to it when I am full, I'd actually probably be pretty skinny. But I overeat because I love food and I was taught to eat everything on my plate. I might actually look at getting smaller plates for myself. But between my husband's help and my determination, hopefully I can stop crying myself to sleep at night. I am tired of being tired. I am tired of being fat. I am tired of hurting. I am tired of not being able to keep up with my two year old. I feel lazy and gross. So here's to new beginnings. Mind over matter! A lifestyle change is hard but I am going to do it. First step, stop drinking soda and eating out!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    April your words hit home and I am praying for you to succeed because I need for us to do this together. It;s hard not to become overwhelmed by the task at hand but may we take it one small success at a time. You can do this. Praying for you, praying for me, praying for our team. emoticon
    1377 days ago
  • NMUTT71
    I know what you are going through. I also was raised with the "clean your plate" mentality. How many times did I hear "People in Africa are starving! Eat your food don't waste it." It sets in motion an eating habit that is hard to break. Plus I'm Italian and we LOVE food. Especially bread, pasta, and desserts. I bought smaller plates a while back and they really do help with portion control because you eye sees a full plate so your mind believes you are eating a lot. It really helps you should consider that as a tool. It's also good to buy some measuring cups and just start measuring out your portions. You'd be surprised at what we think a 1/2 cup is and what it really is. At first it's discouraging but when you measure out a 1/2 cup of rice and spread It out on your plate it looks like a lot more. One of my favorite breakfast meals is to dice up a sweet potato really small and cook it up in a frying pan with peppers and onions. Than I add in an egg or too and scramble the whole thing together and make a skillet meal. Makes a good dinner too. Keep pushing and I'm glad hubby is helping you.
    1377 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14402600
    Hope you have a smile on your face today. God bless your husband for offering to help you on your journey. It is so special when the ones we love understand our problems and step up. You have reached the bottom so the only direction to go is up! Take your journey slowly one step at a time.
    I don't prep my food either. Left overs is fine now and then, but not daily ; ) Make up a weekly menu so you know what you are going to eat. That is what I try to do.
    I do wish you the best. Set small doable goals to keep yourself motivated and stay away from the scale for a while. Give your body time to adjust and then look ; ) You can do this!! Cheering you on!
    1379 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14651201
    Purchase one of those kids sets with the cup, plate, bowl and silverware! It really helps with portion sizes. emoticon I'm doing this too! Let me know what set you get yourself. I am looking for Winnie the Pooh or Beatrix Potter! Happy dish hunting.
    1379 days ago
    Having your husband on your side is a big plus. I have been where you are. I am 63 and had bariatric surgery at 59. I weighed 374 lbs. Today I weigh 205 and am working toward 175. It has not always been easy and I have slipped up, but I choose to keep going. Your happiness is your choice. Love who you are, where you are and continue to follow so through all the changes that will come. You can do this!
    1379 days ago
    Find happiness in something other than food. It's really hard at first but it'll be so helpful to you. Food is to nourish your body not heal your emotions. Find prayer, yoga, exercise, simple beauty...whatever it may be. It's hard but worth it
    1380 days ago
  • KAYTEE916
    You can do it!!
    1380 days ago
    Good for you! I'm glad you have a supportive husband. You can do this. But remember that you're beautiful no matter what the scale says!! I am starting to believe that's the first step to this process!!
    1380 days ago
  • MSANN59
    Hope you and hubby can come up with plan good luck
    1380 days ago
    Good for you! The first step is always the hardest.
    1380 days ago
    You can do it! 1 small step at a time!!
    1380 days ago
  • GRACED777
    Baby steps. Once these steps are habit, you can add another till it becomes habit...and on and on and on! emoticon
    1380 days ago
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