Cried myself to sleep
Saturday, May 20, 2017
So last night, as my husband was putting some salve on would I have, I was looking at myself in our full length mirror and just started crying over how far my stomach hangs over. I actually ended up crying myself to sleep. This morning my husband came to me and told me I broke his heart last night. So he has decided that he is going to help me with my weight loss goals. He's kind of an enabler because he knows how happy food makes me. He's seen my mood completely change after going out to eat. Plus, he doesn't want to be a douche to me by telling me what not to eat, because he also knows how emotional I am. An unfortunate part of depression. But today we're creating an action plan. I know they say you should meal prep, but I have a hard time eating reheated meat, or pretty much anything reheated. It just tastes weird to me and I end up eating with some kind of sauce to mask the taste which defeats the purpose of eating healthy. One of my biggest problems is portion control. My stomach (inside) is really not that big and if I would just listen to it when I am full, I'd actually probably be pretty skinny. But I overeat because I love food and I was taught to eat everything on my plate. I might actually look at getting smaller plates for myself. But between my husband's help and my determination, hopefully I can stop crying myself to sleep at night. I am tired of being tired. I am tired of being fat. I am tired of hurting. I am tired of not being able to keep up with my two year old. I feel lazy and gross. So here's to new beginnings. Mind over matter! A lifestyle change is hard but I am going to do it. First step, stop drinking soda and eating out!