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Weigh In Day!/ Date Change/Not A Pretty Girl

Monday, June 26, 2017

First weigh in day for my new adventure and lost 1 pound!

I weighed wrong when I was weighing for doing all of the calculations on how much I should lose by when.. I weighed myself at 258, not my actual weight of 260. I don't know how I did that... Maybe I weighed at the wrong time of day? I don't know, but that puts me a week behind.

That is okay. It's all right. I'll just move my goal date forward a week. Why was I thinking that I must stick to the same goal date no matter what? I miscalculated, I'll change my goal date, no problem.*whew* I don't know what my thing is with sticking to goal dates, maybe from the military, but I need to get over it. dates are going to change, goals are going to be moved around and it's okay. I can still do this.

So my new goal date is October 10th.

Okay, so the adventure has already begun, but I'm feeling more like me, I'm actually getting some sleep! I was only up for about an hour in the middle of the night! And I got sleepy really quick. I woke up several times after that but was able to fall quickly back asleep... too quickly, I kept going back into the same dream and it got weirder every time. But at least I got sleep! Yay! I know sleep is an important cog in the works of losing weight. It all works together and no matter how small, if you are missing a cog, the 'wheel' won't turn properly.

Lemon water is my new favorite thing!! I LOVE it! I like water, but it was getting a bit old, not having any flavor. This is maybe 7.4 calories per quart of water and I have at least 3 quarts per day, so I don't count the calories in the lemon water, because I consider it 'free' calories.

This is one key ingredient that I was missing before. I didn't believe in myself, therefore I wasn't being true to me. Now, I absolutely do believe in myself and that I can do this. Why the change? I've been thinking a lot on how to be true to myself and break past the barriers I've put around myself. I've done several things, including putting up a go fund me account to help with raising money to get myself a service dog. How does that help? I'm being open and honest about my afflictions and how they affect me. It has forced me out of my shell, just a little. I've decided no more hiding. I have anxiety, bipolar, PTSD and many more labels, though they do not define me, they are a part of who I am. Hiding that I'm going through a major depression or serious anxiety is hiding a part of me away, not being true to me, and I refuse to hide any more.

It's not pretty to read, in fact it's awful. The above pic is how I used to feel. My family made me feel like that all the time. I got them out of my life, but that way of thinking remained for years. I'm finally able to say I'm a grown adult, you don't get to decide who I am, I do and this is not me. I would always tell you I am not a pretty girl, because that is what I was told. You know what? I am pretty. I grew up in a family that was not healthy and that is not my fault. I can choose to let that define me, or I can choose to move past it. And I'm choosing to move past it and be a healthy, happy adult. One of my favorite sayings really makes sense to me now, "It's how you go on that defines you." Wow, boom! Straight to the heart with that one.

Got a little deeper than I normally like to go with that one, but you know what? I have nothing to hide. I am who I am, and while those things helped mold me into who I am today, they do not define me, it's how I'm choosing to go on. I like that.

How about you? I'm not asking you to go all deep, I'm asking, how are you going on? How are you defining yourself?

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Inspiring as usual! It gives me hope that I can break the bondage of negative thinking.
    1010 days ago
  • SILVER1369
    You are not alone. emoticon
    1012 days ago
    Thank You for sharing, Happy you have moved on.

    Growing up I was told I was Stupid and wouldn't amount to anything. I baby sat at age 13, worked at a food stand at 16 and moved on to a factory worker until I married and had children. I again baby sat for 16 years and was told by DH many times it wasn't a real job. It put food on the table and I raised our children . I am retired after cleaning a school for 24 years.I don't live in a castle , not Rowling in money but happy with my life and learning to eat healthy and exercising.
    1012 days ago
    I didn't get rid of my family, but I did set boundaries and learn not to buy into all the negative crap. Once in a while I get a jolt, but I take a deep breathe and move forward. Family dynamics can get overwhelming. Thank you for sharing.

    I was given a book by my counselor , called Hind's Feet on High Places, when I was about 25, it made such a difference in my life and attitude. It is available on the internet for free. It is an allegory, and talks about our self worth. How precious we are in His sight.

    Keep Sparking beautiful one! emoticon
    1012 days ago
    Thanks,for sharing YOU are a BEAUTIFUL person
    1013 days ago
  • no profile photo APPLEGREENGIRL
    Love the distinctions between what I have/what molded me as part of who you are, but not your "definition." Good for you!!
    1013 days ago
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