Friday, July 28, 2017
I didn't go in the hospital, so I was here for DD's birthday... But I slept through the last half of the day because I was not doing good. That's okay because the party is not till Saturday.
I'm still not doing good. The slightest things set off my anxiety and I have a panic attack. About the only things that calm me down are sleeping (if I can, big IF there) and crocheting while watching videos on service dogs and training dogs. I'm really enjoying learning some of the things they do to train dogs. And I've learned I'm going to need a LOT of treats, lol. But it keeps me concentrating on Hope and not on whatever had triggered me, it works.
We went out to eat and run errands yesterday and just walking... walking! set off a panic attack, so I'm struggling to breathe and burning hot and it was just a bad thing that I went and ran errands with the family. I didn't enjoy my usual hibachi, it tasted bland to me because my everything was panicking and I just was not in a good head space at all. Today I have to go because we are enrolling the kids in public school and I must be there. Then we are going shopping.
I hate to say this, but I may need to go to the hospital. I'm struggling with everyday things. I don't want to, but if I get any worse, I'm going to go back and revisit it. I see my new psychiatrist Tuesday and we'll see from there, I guess. I hate to put such a burden on my husband, but I'm not going to do him any good if I get worse and end up with a longer stay in the hospital.
I feel strange typing this out, but I wanted to give an honest update. I'm not doing well. I've gained weight. I'm going to have to either really put a lot of work into losing weight asap, or go buy some new clothes that fit. I'll opt for working really hard, exercise is a stress reliever. It's just hard to exercise when you have no energy or can't breathe.
to you guys! I'm missing talking with you all, and I'll get on as I'm able, but right now, I'm not able.