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I'm back

Saturday, August 19, 2017

I have missed you my Spark Friends! emoticon emoticon I did need the break though. I'm getting a little bit more sleep (most nights) so that will help with my ability to get on SP more often. When I'm running on 3 hours or less of sleep it is hard to think coherently enough to get on here and talk/chat.

I still have that terrible cough I've had for months now, only it is getting worse and adding to my insomnia. We did chest x-rays and they are fine, thank God. Now I have an appointment with an allergist to see if that is it. I have a cough med that numbs that part of your throat, it works sometimes, but if I get into a big coughing fit it takes a long time for it to start working.

My anxiety is still through the roof most days and I'm having a hard time with panic attacks hitting me from out of what feels like nowhere. I've become more hypervigilant and there are some things I've had to ask DH to start doing for me, like closing the garage door at night. I don't know why that is one of them, but it is.

The girls are doing great in public school. We had one little hiccup of teasing, but quickly overcame it. I'm really proud of how my girls have been handling the social interaction side of things, and they are also doing well with the schoolwork. I'm so proud of the girls finally looking at the bright side of things and deciding to take advantage of the situation instead of moping about it. They, for the most part love school and I could not be more happy with their teachers.

As you can probably guess with the lack of sleep I have not been working out. Hard to work out when your legs feel like lead from getting 0-3 hours of sleep. I've gained a bit of weight and am going to be working hard to remedy that! I want to work out on any days I get 4+ hours of sleep. That seemed like a good number and I'm not likely to get too much more than that. I went in and saw my psychiatrist earlier than my f/u appointment because I simply cannot go on with as little sleep as I was getting, about 1/3 of the nights we no-sleep nights and I was barely able to function. Heck I'm not functioning so well now.

I weigh the most I have ever weighed. 265 last time I checked. I feel like it is more. My goal this week is to lose 2-3 pounds if I can. I'm going to be eating less meat, cutting out all sugar except that what goes in my coffee or chai (bye cookies), eat more veggies and eat less starches. Sometimes I'm just going to have to eat what we have on hand. We are saving hardcore for a house, we are hoping to be on the market by the end of September, beginning of October. We have to be out of this house by the end of December. Oh boy. But we already have houses picked out to look at that we really want and are in our price range. Can't wait!

I am able to get the kids up and ready for school, but that wears me out, I mean really. I'm supposed to then work out and take a shower, according to my schedule, but I've been drinking a cup of coffee and trying to wake back up all the way or laying down praying for sleep to come back (it usually doesn't)

I've not been doing my full Thrive, which I'm starting back. I would forget my DFT patch or I would not do my afternoon Activate drink. I felt like I was getting so little sleep that it would not have been a good idea because I was trying to take naps to catch up on sleep. Not that it was working, I could not nap. So I'm getting back in the swing of things with that and I'm hoping that will help me to be able to function more during the day.

The trainer/breeder for the Goldens/service dogs told me that her Golden should be coming into heat any day now. She's going to inform me as soon as they know for sure if she gets pregnant and when the puppies are born. I'm so excited! I had plans for taking the puppy to the park and all this mess, but was told no parks till she has the basic commands down, otherwise the park visits could be disastrous. Don't want that! I still have so many questions, but I don't want to bombard the lady with questions, so I'm going to write them down and ask when I pick up Hope.... that is if the dogs mate and there are puppies. I'm so excited, but I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch. Crossing my fingers for a puppy in December!!

Thinking about starting a video blog for myself on my other blog crouchingflea.com - Once I get Hope (service dog) I will be starting a channel on youtube to keep track of her updates and training progress. I'm going to keep a chart on her as well, but what better way to show her progress than a video? I still have to come up with a name for the channel, not sure what to name it or if I should go by my real name or by CrouchingFlea or just Flea.

Hope you have a great weekend!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon I just read your blog after sparkmailing you and realize you just answered most of my questions right here! I am so glad you are looking more optimistic. God's got great plans for you - just hold on tight! I'm looking forward to seeing where He's taking you!

    1134 days ago
    emoticon emoticon Glad to see you my friend. I pray the dogs mate too. That would be great! You have to take life one day at a time. God is with you and His love will NEVER fail in any way. Keep seeing your heart's desires. I'm praying for God's very best in your life at all times. Missed you!!! Enjoy your weekend!
    Deb emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1135 days ago
  • NEPTUNE1939
    1135 days ago
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