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To catch you up..

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Hey y'all. It seems like forever since I have posted here. Hope all is well. This is gonna be lengthy. I've been going through, well changes. Some of you know my story from the beginning of my journey, some of you do not. To catch you up take a look at this blog: http://www.sparkpeople.com/myp
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Things were amazing. I completed 5ks, 10ks, and even a half marathon. I was enjoying being active with my daughter. And for the first time in my life, I felt pretty and I felt accomplished. So awesome for a girl who always wanted to blend in and fly under the radar. This was super liberating
Life was sweet.

Fast forward to August 2012. I had a female surgery to implant a product inside me to prevent pregnancy. WORST DECISION EVER. My body had a reaction I never was warned about, never expected. A weight gain of 30 pounds in less than 4 months!! Nothing else had changed. I was still on my exercise and nutrition plan. As the months passed, I started to feel differently. I knew something was wrong. My physician wouldn't listen. I was gaining weight and just feeling poorly. I began to think I was crazy. Slowly, my workout routines became less intense. I blamed it on getting older. That clearly was not the issue. I was feeling depressed over the weight gain, and my hair began to fall out, the gym was the last place I felt like going.... so I didn't.

In 2015 I finally found a doctor that listened to me. Sadly, the only way to possibly end this misery was for me to have the product removed via hysterectomy at the age of 43. I thought I was prepared for that, but I wasn't.

I went through a divorce the following year. Another difficult time. Shortly after that, I began having issues again. This time, there was some lower back pain and I was bleeding (keep in mind, I have no uterus ... Soooooo... I was kinda freaked out). I saw 2 different doctors, had silver nitrate applications and a biopsy. Finally, I was sent to and treated by a gynecological oncologist. I went into another surgery 5 weeks ago, (after bleeding for a year!) to remove the granulation tissue which grew as a result of the hysterectomy.

I am recovering. I am trying my best to get back to the healthy looking woman I was for those short years. Thankfully all of my labs are perfect. I have to tell you, this has been so incredibly trying. I am still suffering from hair loss, depression, anxiety (meds cause weight gain😕) and the latest development is severe joint pain and inflammation.
I can't run anymore. Who am I kidding, some days I can barely walk. I feel like I am running out of time. I feel hopeless. Doctors don't have the answers. Here I am, though, smiling, sort of. I still push myself. I still care for my daughter, I keep house and do all the single mom stuff. I still force myself to get out of bed each morning, even with 4 hours sleep (anxiety keeps me up), to go to work....even though there are days I would rather hide from everyone and everything. It's a terrible sound when you are crumbling on the inside.
So, I don't talk a whole lot about this stuff. Some of my family will be surprised to read the things I endure. So, thanks for listening.

Keep going, keep moving forward, keep praying, friends.
#unfiltered
#justme
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