SP Premium
10,000-14,999 SparkPoints 12,783

Enough: An open letter to myself.

Sunday, December 03, 2017

I had a crazy, honest revelation with myself yesterday; If I do not make a positive change, I am going to die too soon.
I have been on this journey with multiple fresh starts for 20 years. Yesterday, I really felt that I was going to have a stroke or heart attack if I did not get this under control.
My life is too awesome to be cut short for a stupid donut or some pizza.
I have not seen 200 pounds on a scale for 15 years. I lived in the 100s and loved it for years.
I saw 201 lbs 3 days ago. It freaked me out!
Today, it read 196.
The last time I posted I was 183 and a newlywed. I had low blood pressure and my sugar was moderately in control.
Today I am 196, divorced, my blood sugar is high and my blood pressure is high.
This is some BS! Not until I wrote that did I see that my life changes actually caused me more stress and health issues than I realized.
100% of it can be reversed with a good diet and some exercise.
So I am back to being accountable and done with excuses.
I will post a new photo to reflect how I look now. That will be my motivation to get it back under control and keep going until my doctor says I'm healthy.
I will use Sparkpeople to track my nutrition, exercise, weight, sugar and blood pressure.
I will read success stories of other members and stop assuming that I am different and have different conditions that will not allow me to have the same successes. My only issue is me.

Some cold turkey changes: No more pork (I LOVE bacon, but it can kick rocks now), quinoa is my new rice, potato and pasta substitute, and no more flavored creamers in my coffee, just dry "whitener" and Splenda. I am testing my BP daily now for the first time so I am not shocked by the doctor every few months. I must pray/meditate when I feel temptation.

The thing I really have to work on is saying, "I don't want any" or "I'm good" or "I'm a little nauseated" when offered things that will kill me. And that is how I will have to look at donuts, cookies, pizza, and anything that will raise my sugar, blood pressure or weight.
Those things = bullets to the head.
I will enjoy the foods that are really tasty and good for me.
I will NOT eat anything that I do not enjoy just because it's healthy though. So squash be damned!
Christmas is coming and the focus will be Jesus, not sugar cookies.
I love me! Let's show it!!

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you, MDCalifornia!

    973 days ago
    stay focused you can do this you can achieve your goals, if you should start to fall toward something sweet take one bite satisfy that Sweetness in your self and throw the rest away God bless you
    976 days ago
    First let me say congratulations on making your first step you're very beautiful lady and now it's time that you find your inner self to take care of your self to make sure you live a long sweet life. And it all starts with one day at a time!
    976 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.