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This Time Of Year...

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

I got more sleep last night! It wasn't enough, but it was more than I have been getting, so, hooray!

I'm bone-tired, but still manic! I'm restless, want to do stuff and mind is going 90 to nothing. But my body can't quite keep up with as little sleep as it has gotten. It's driving me batty. Always does.

To give an example of what it is like to be manic, just an itty bitty example. I chatted my DH to death during dinner and while he was making it. I called 4 people and was on the phone for 30 min to an hour each time. I don't talk on the phone anywhere near that much!! But I get chatty and need to talk to someone!

My plan was to start a 10+ minute of exercise a day streak, but, with my back hurting like it is, I can't. I'm doing really good on my water streak though! And as soon as my back is doing better, I'll be on that treadmill asap!!

I didn't eat so well last night, part of being manic (for me), I either forget to eat altogether or I just love how it tastes so much that I eat tons of it. I think I'm going to go to strictly shakes till this mania is over. I get my sample packs today (Inspire bariatric protein shakes)and it has a month's worth of the vitamins so I'll take those and get all my nutrition in. Maybe an orange here and there for vitamins to keep me from catching what everyone else has.

My anxiety is sky high. My family (that I cut off contact with for being abusive/toxic) is having to get in contact with me for my Grandmother's will. I asked her to take me out of it, but instead she just lowered my percent. She obviously wanted me to have something, so I'll follow her last wishes, but if it gets too bad I'm just going to sign over my percentage to my Aunt-in-law. Already the claws have come out, and the lying begun. I don't do drama, and they are trying to create it. Nope, not going to play that game.

The funny/sad/frustrating thing is, one of them will make contact with me EVERY year about this time. And it sends me spiraling. I wonder if they do it for fun.

Enough of that! Moving on... I am drinking real coffee again. I only have to be quit for a month, so I'm letting myself have real coffee for a few days. A treat. I'll probably stop tomorrow, I don't want to have it for a full week or anything. But yesterday when I was dragging so bad from lack of sleep but was manic and mind racing, just my body could not keep up, I got a latte and powered through. Today I have some unsweet tea (no sugar to bog me down!). I feel like it's cheating now. I want to work through on my own energy. But in this case, I don't have any.

I watched the first two classes on making a sourdough from scratch. The materials needed I went ahead and bought was less than $40, I already have the flour I need. Yay! It will get here tomorrow. So wednesday night I'll be making a sourdough starter! I'm hoping it's not too cold. If so I'll just have to let it sit out for longer (covered, of course). Some may be asking why make bread if I can't eat much of it. I'll tell you; it brings me great joy to see people enjoying the fruits of my labor. I love hearing from my family how awesome my bread is. They've learned to look at the crumb and to really try to taste is for certain things. The fun part about this? My kids want to learn how to make a sourdough with me! WooHoo! Anything we can do together is a definite win!

So, with that I must go get the kids ready for school (and finish my coffee!).
Hope you have a terrific Tuesday!
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