Sunday, June 17, 2018
Had a wonderful day, wonderful 3 days. Went to a lake 'beach' that is nearby with a friend and her young son on Friday. My two girls love hanging out with the little boy, though he tires them out, lol. Then I finally went to Bible Study with my husband. My anxiety was really bad the entire time, and I felt like a fish out of water, but it is one step closer to getting to know people and making this church a church family
Saturday we had a BBQ and invited the same friend and her husband over, they are always very good company, and we cherish their friendship. They let us know that it looks like they will be moving to another state this summer. I'm going to miss them greatly, she is one of my very few friends here where I live. But if it is what is best for their family, I'm cheering them on. Today we had steaks (okay, they had steaks I had cajun chicken) and hung out with my in-laws, we had a great time. I asked my MIL if she would like to hang out more and told her about my wanting to go hiking and do picnics and such. I'm finally putting myself out there, it was hard to do, but if I want to have a better relationship with my MIL, I need to do so.
It was really difficult though, these three days. The food... I may have had a few bites here and there that I should not have. And my stomach rebelled because of it. So I've made a pact with myself; no foods I should not have, no eating quickly, and stick to what the dietitian told me to eat. Except that the dietitian told me I needed to get out of the 'foodie mentality.' I know what she meant, but I'm not going to stop liking great flavored food. But at the same time I'm not going to let myself obsess over food the way I used to... but I'm not going to eat bland food and be happy. I have seasonings and I'm going to use them! LOL.
The thing that surprised me was that everyone commented on my weight loss at my in-laws house. I got a lot of wow's and 'I still can't get over how different you look!' Made me feel great and like, I don't know, like it is all worth it. I can stick to this, I can do this.
So, tomorrow, Monday, I'm going to be starting Flylady (again) and sticking to my diet plan. I'm going to try to take my kids to a park every day or so (once I get the puppy, everyday) and swimming or splash pad at least twice a week. I'm not telling them that, that is my secret to do list. I can feel myself getting depressed despite all the wonderful things that are happening. I hate having bipolar. I should be so excited and thrilled right now, instead I'm having to push my way through. So there is always the possibility that I won't feel up to going to the park some days due to depression or anxiety. And some days you just can't push through it.
So, Starting tomorrow I will get up every day at 0630, weekend or no. I was letting myself sleep in some days, but that messes up my water intake and my morning. I love having the time to just relax and read or spend time relaxing on the deck with one of my kiddos (usually youngest, she gets up early without an alarm). I also plan out my day during this time. I can gauge about how my anxiety is and determine where we can go and if I'm up to it.
And I'm going to start making sure to walk and alternate leg and arms days (not cleared to do core yet). I will get my Flylady home cleaning work done AND unpack one box a day (If it is one of the extra large boxes, then 1/2 a box will do) so we can be officially moved into our new house... and so we can use our garage, lol.
4 more weeks till I get my puppy!! WOOHOO!!