myStrength blog on rejection & my reflections
Tuesday, June 26, 2018
From myStrength blog: app.mystrength.c
Don't let rejection get you down. Remember these five lessons:
1. You are a good, worthy person
A rejection doesn't mean you are a failure. It doesn't mean you are unworthy or unlovable.
2. Notice your self-talk
Notice how you're talking to yourself. Are you blaming yourself?
3. "This too shall pass"
You may feel terrible now. Know that your intense feelings will fade with time. In a week, month or year, this rejection may not be as important.
4. Evaluate and plan
Rejection can feel like a huge blow in the moment, but in reality, it may not matter in the end. Think about the bigger picture.
5. Experience the feeling. Then move on.
Scientists have found that our brains react to emotional pain the same way we feel physical pain. It hurts!
Build your confidence and resilience. Understand that emotions are fleeting, and we all deal with them.
Wow! I wish I had known these coping tools about 20+ years ago. The most meaningful piece of advice here for me is to notice my self-talk. As someone who has low self-esteem, it is so easy for me to speak terribly about myself. No, not everything bad in the world is my fault! Not only that, but the other person may be dealing with their own issues. In fact, none of us really know what the other person is going through.
Another idea I really like is setting a time limit to the moping/anguish/hurt I might feel after a rejection. Yes, I have to work through the pain, but I cannot dwell on it full time.