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9 July 18

Monday, July 09, 2018

Yesterday I went a little overboard with the food. That's not much, I can't eat much at a time, but I had four meals, and should not have. Gotta work that off on the treadmill today. I was so anxious yesterday, still am today but not as bad. Yesterday was awful. I'm hoping today is not as bad.

Busy day though. Splash pad, grocery shopping, dropping stuff off at thrift store, cleaning house and a farewell party for friends. I'm sad they are going, but excited for what God has in store for them. I'm not sure how I'll handle a busy day with my anxiety as high as it is, but I must, there is too much to do for me to be down today. Tomorrow will be busy as well, just not as busy, thank God!

DH woke me up at 5 AM because the garbage truck was in the lot behind us and he had forgotten to take the garbage to the curb. Had to remind him that the lot behind us is on a different route than we are, ours does not get taken till around noon. Once I'm up, I'm up, he went back to sleep. But I needed to get up early today, so this helps.

Can't wait to get my pup this Friday! I know I've said it like a billion times, but I'm so excited to meet her and to bring her home! We are going to have to make a stop at a pet store to pick up her food and some treats, maybe a soft toy. I already have some of the basics for her, like her kennel and bowls and such. I'm anxious about it. What if's are running through my head like crazy. I'm trying to rationalize with these what if's but when I am anxious, reason has nothing to do with it. I'm glad I'm getting her though. Nap times and play times and all the inbetweens are going to be so much fun. I know I'm going to lose some sleep at first, but that is fine, it will take a while for her to get used to her new home and new human.

I'm feeling depression slipping in. I think getting the puppy, Hope, will help interrupt that. I just hope I don't get worse before Friday. I have too much going on this month and next to be bogged down by depression. Especially the way it is feeling. The I-want-to-hide-in-bed-and-neve
r-come-out kind, the kind where I just want to curl into a ball and forget the world exists. I'm making myself do the things I had planned, but making small talk and having conversations is hard when I'm like this. I feel like there is too much silence and it is my fault because I don't have much to talk about.

Well, had a long day, so off to bed. Hope y'all had a great day!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ZAKLA500
    I went a little over too but it's ok. Dust yourself off and get back on track. When I realized I went over I hopped on my stationary bike and did 30 minutes. It is how you respond to a mistakes that matter not that you made it.
    733 days ago
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