Baby steps (what are they really?) and consistency.
Tuesday, July 17, 2018
I just want to be consistent again and I have to start with small goals. I'm trying to track something everyday. Even if I don't fill out my entire tracker, I'm getting to the page. I'm acknowledging some of what I am eating. I know I'm not ready to acknowledge all of what I'm eating. But it has to be baby steps.
Interesting, though. Having recently watched a baby learn how to walk it just struck me that there is absolutely no consistency to it! He'd take one step, and then fall down and that was it for the day. The next day, he'd try again - he'd get a little bit further. Then maybe a few days with no walking before he did it again. Maybe baby steps just means gradual change, rather than taking small steps towards a goal. Because once he was walking there were no small steps!! Just big, fast, running steps. And then he'd fall down. But the more he did it, the better he became. And the less he fell down. But now, even after a year and a half of walking, he still falls.
So, lets relate this to my biggest problem: the mindless eating of sugar. I have a good day, then I have a bad one. Then I try again. Like my little toddler, I may get a bit further, then I fall down again. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. Because I still get up. I'm still trying to get better at it - and perhaps I am without even realising it. I had a bad day yesterday. But I understand why. And today has been really good. Because I learned from yesterday. I may fall down tomorrow, I may not. But, perhaps the big lesson I need to take from all of this - is that I am getting better at it. Even if, in the midst of a mindless eating binge, it feels like I am not. Actually, perhaps, much like a toddler gradually learns to walk, I am gradually getting better at eating healthily.
So, maybe it is not consistency that is the key - meaning that I am able to do the same thing every day perfectly. Perhaps it is being able to pick myself up after a fall and keep on going, trusting that the falls will gradually become fewer and farther apart. Perhaps the consistency is getting up again, rather than having a perfect healthy eating day everyday.