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Wednesday, August 01, 2018

I'm exhausted. Worn thin. Tired out.

All the go-go-going of the past month and the crowds of the past week have really got to me. My anxiety is sky high, I've made it through a bunch of appointments today, but could not bring myself to go to Walmart to get the rest of the kids school supplies. Luckily DH is going to do it for me. I'm so lucky to have such an understanding DH.

I read this quote in an article on The Mighty, "...when we need to take a sick day, when we are brave enough to take some time for self-care, we need to be taken seriously. I’m not faking being sick. I’ve been faking being well." That is so true. I fake being well for so long and now I need a break. I need some down time, and I'm probably not going to get it. DH is having a particularly busy time at work and school is starting. True I will have while the kids are at school, but I'm usually running errands, upkeeping the house and watching the clock to make sure I'm not late picking up the kids. Now I will be training the dogs and working with the trainer every other day (Mon, Wed, and Fri).

I keep forgetting to eat. Forgetting to take care of myself. Forgetting to work out. Hopefully when school gets started tomorrow I can work on a routine. I'm making sure to take care of Hope fully and train her often, but I'm bogged down emotionally and I know she can pick up on that. She's been amazing. The kids are amazing. DH is awesome and wonderful. I feel bad that I'm like this, but I can't help it.

Yesterday was bad. I was shaking so bad from the crowds and the crush of all we have to get done for school, I just... I had a panic attack, not so bad that I needed help, but almost.

My therapist says I need to do some self care, take care of my tooth, do my paint by number, crochet, exercise... But when I'm a bundle of exposed nerves and anxiety, concentrating on a anything is so hard, add to that I'm getting a migraine. I just want to blank out. curl up and sleep or daydream. Hide away.

Hopefully the next two days I can take some me time in between car line and training. Maybe take a bath with some candles and hot tea.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I found one little way for some self care. With all the running around to and from band camp 2-4 times a day, I take a book in the car with me. When the session runs late, I pull out my book and just enjoy a few quiet moments to myself. This might work in the school pick up line for you, if you find that you have a few minutes. Or you could just take a magazine to flip through (check them out at the library). Take advantage of little pockets of time. You can even just pray, release it all to God and be filled with His peace.
    Praying for you, sweet sister!
    709 days ago
    You are so blessed to have an understanding family! Make sure you take care of you! There is only one Karri!
    Hugs, Tanya
    710 days ago
    A husband who understands is truly a gift!
    710 days ago
    Hurray DH! He sounds like a wonderful blessing in your life--so supportive in so many ways that you have mentioned in so many of your blog posts.

    Sorry your so exhausted and stressed. Hope you can get some quality rest and relaxation time in.

    710 days ago
  • GEORGE815
    Take care of yourself.
    710 days ago
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