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Fall

Saturday, September 22, 2018

So will I blog about the season, or the act of falling.... Maybe a little of both. I love fall. I met my husband in the fall. I love the crisp air, beautiful changing leaves, fresh apples. For me its a magical time when the trees come alive with vibrant color. One year yellow, one year red depending upon the amount pigment. A tree's color will change from one year to the next! What's your color? This year I'm green.. My favorite is red. Next year I plan to be red. I plan to stand out like a beautiful confident creature that god designed me to be. This year, I'm just a nice green tree, in the backgrounded of the scene. Not wanting to be noticed.

My son got married last weekend. it was a great, beautiful day. I hate the pictures. I am in very few pictures. I untag them because I'm not the person I want to be. It's crazy! I am the very same person at 140 as I am at 260 but somehow I shrink into my shell, I do not stand proud, I shrink in the background. How do you deal with the emotions that come with being heavy? Of being the person you do not want to be? Maybe I am the only one that feels this way?

I have always struggled with my self image. Weight has always been a struggle.... Or at least I thought it was. I was going through pictures the other day and ran into this one. Why in the world would I think I was fat here? silly girl. I guess when you are hanging out with girls that are size 2, and have a parent that constantly reminds you to pull your shirt down so your belly doesn't show.... but those are just excuses.


So next fall there is another wedding and instead of looking like this, I am going to be a tree that stands out. Maybe an vibrant orange, or a pretty red.. I want to push my way into the front! Thats my goal! Moving forward. Making smarter choices. With Gods help, for my health I am going to break free. And for those who don't understand this blog, perhaps you should move on, because I am certain that there are plenty of people who do. Anyone else what to be in a different place 1 year from now? Lets do this! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • AAAACK
    I struggle with this as well. You're definitely not alone in these feelings. I try very hard to love my body at every size, but it's really really hard. And I seriously dislike how I FEEL on top of how I look. And more than anything, I hate what I can't do anymore. Being larger is limiting. But you're right, we can change this. We each have to find our own path to change. But we can certainly support one another while we do it!
    551 days ago
  • BIGMAMAT
    Thanks Ladies. emoticon
    561 days ago
  • MORTICIAADDAMS
    You had a fantastic body as a young girl. I did too. I still love my body today even though there is too much of it and I'm 66. My body will never look like it did when was young. I didn't gain weight until I was 46 and in menopause so I know that inside me is a woman who can be of normal weight and that is what I am working toward. Congratulations to your son and his new bride.
    561 days ago
  • ROSEWCI
    Oh Tricia, you're such a beautiful soul! I love your enthusiasm & sense of determination! I've been exactly where you are..........not long ago, mind you. I lost weight & then regained it. Just this year, I rejoined WW's & have lost 51 lbs. It wasn't easy but I'm doing much better now. And I did it for my health....to get my numbers down. (bp, glucose, cholesterol, etc.) We know the drill....we just have to do it! And do it you can!!!! I'm with you girl! Keep pushing forward & don't stop! Hey, we can sputter & stall, but we keep going!

    Yes, let's do this!!! emoticon
    561 days ago
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