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My Adventures in Spark Land...Day 74 of 365 days...support

Monday, October 15, 2018

As I was thinking of what to blog today, I looked at Day 23 of a pin entitled '31 days of self-care'. It asked what does your support system look like? How can you make it stronger?

When I was in 1-6 grade, there were 9 kids in my whole grade. 7-12 grade 3 elementary schools combined into one huge class of maybe 60 kids but my support system was always my family because no one understood me or accepted me. I went off to a 2 year college where people understood and accepted me for the 1st time in my life. Later I got a job and moved to a larger area where people accepted me for me, they supported me, they understood me. When I was raped and going through my pregnancy, friends were there for me and family was not yet when my son was born, mom moved us here where we had no support.

21 years have past. My son is in college. I am on a waiting list to move back to the city I lived in 21 years ago.

Yesterday my dad's sister, her husband, my son, and were sitting eating. My aunt is very upset over my choice to move back. She said it's for selfish reasons. I sat and explained that I have no support here. Why should I stay here and move into a one bedroom low income place that is crap. The one bedroom place has not been remodeled since the 70's. It was meant for low-income elderly and has turned into a place for low income drug dealers where the cops are called all the time. The apartments are trash. My mom died, dad's in assistant living, my brother and family live 1 hour away, my other brother will be moving soon too, my son is 2 hours away. Why should I stay here just because she comes up to see my dad 4 times a year? Why not go where the low-income place has just been remodeled, where I am closer to things. Where I found people are more accepting, understanding, and supporting? Where I maybe happier? Yes life has changed in the last 21 years and it maybe making new supportive friends. But a larger area will provide that.

The best thing about cyber supportive friends are, they go wherever I go!

Supportive people are very important to me!

Number 38 of my 50 ways to practice self-love is watch a funny movie and laugh and number 49 is have a good cry. Hallmark movies do both for me.

Here are 2 quotes .

the people
you won't
your journey.
They don't
need to
it's not for

Don't look for
someone who will solve
all your problems.
Look for someone who
won't let you face
them alone.

I think people often forget this!

Thanks for reading my blog.

Keep sparkling!

PS-driving in snow yesterday and waking up to snow covered everything kind of made me go from Boo fever to snow snuggle up and stay warm fever!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    635 days ago
    Good for you for sticking up for yourself with your aunt. You should be where you want to be. Yay you! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    637 days ago
    Where I found people are more accepting, understanding, and supporting? Where I maybe happier? Yes

    You only get one life to live, and I'm so proud of you for making changes that are good for you!! Moving to a safer and better place where there are people that are supportive and acceptive is a very positive thing! People who want the best for you would be encouraging you not giving you a guilt trip. emoticon
    637 days ago
    Hasn't snowed here, yet, but we did have a good frost on the lawn Saturday morning.
    637 days ago
    My dear friend, this is your life and you've earned the right and privilege to live it as you please. It is impossible to live your life to please other people. Don't even try! Move or not, it's your business and everyone else should just butt out. Take care of you. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    637 days ago
    Plain and simple -- you deserve to be happy, you know that, and that's what you're going to do. Good for you for standing up for yourself. Just know . . . you don't owe anyone an explanation!!!

    637 days ago
  • LINDA!
    You do what works for you. You owe no one an explanation.
    637 days ago
    Do what you need for you.
    638 days ago
    Move where YOU want to so you will feel better. But we will still be here to support you wherever you move.
    Where do you live that's already got snow? You can keep it, I don't want any.

    emoticon emoticon
    638 days ago
    You are working on building your life and your confidence, so it's difficult to deal with people like your aunt who think they can run your life for you. As part of your self care, just remember that you don't have to defend yourself or your decisions and deal with the stress that comes with it. A couple of phrases that I've found helpful are, "I'm sorry you feel that way," or "I appreciate you sharing how you feel about it," without following those phrases with a "But..." to defend your position. Then leave it at that.

    Will you be okay with the move even if your son takes a job on the other side of the country? I'm guessing you will find opportunities for growth, community and friendship (and better libraries) and the change in environment will allow you the freedom to fly.
    638 days ago
    emoticon move where you need to and want to! emoticon
    638 days ago
    Keep moving forward
    638 days ago
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