My Adventures in Spark Land...day 81 out of 365..Negative label I put on myself
Monday, October 22, 2018
Question (from my 31 days of self love): What labels negative and positive to you assign to yourself:
*I am 2nd hand garbage
*I am stuck in a rut
It's interesting that this question came up today because this weekend my son and GF came home Friday night around 10 PM and left Sunday around 2 PM. I can sit and list the good things he did for me and everyone would tell me I have a good son. I could tell you how awful he treated me. People would either make excises for him or tell me it's how I am perceive things. I tend to look at it as how a person makes me feel.
When my family including my son tends not to communicate with me, I feel left out.
When my son and his GF bring food for themselves for the weekend and none for me. Then they leave leave me a sink of dirty dishes, I feel like like my son's room mate not his mom and his unpaid maid.
When my son and GF leave and the place is messier then when they came, I feel overwhelmed by their behavior.
I wonder where I went wrong? Why is my son treating me like this?
My son found a pair of very expensive craft scissors at camp when he was cleaning when he worked there. I put them away. My son wanted them this weekend for daily use in the kitchen. I gave him my every day scissors I got for a dollar and told him no. He got so upset at me because I wasn't using them. When I asked why he treats that college frat house like his home (90 % of this old 50 style home is his expensive stuff) and my place like a dump. He said you plan on moving anyhow, why not treat it like garbage?
As a college kid and getting my 1st place, I got 2nd hand stuff and my parent's stuff they no longer needed. It made me feel like I was 2nd hand. I wasn't good enough to get anything new.
Yesterday when he wanted the expensive scissors over going out and getting cheap ones, when they brought in their food and made it clear it wasn't for me for the weekend. When they left a mess of dishes and a mess in my living room,it all took me back to those feeling of feeling like 2nd hand trash! As much as I love my kid, I hate the way his GF and he treats me. His GF is with him 90% of the time. When she isn't, she is on the phone with him.
My counselor has suggested I talk to him about this and that we work on us. As long as the GF is in the picture, it isn't going to happen!
3 days ago I wrote a blog on adding the healthy habit of sleep. Here are 2 more sleep habits:
5-do the in between the sheets tango-the release of certain hormones may help you sleep a little easier.
6-using a netty pot-with distilled water can clear nasal passages and potential help you sleep better.
No comment on either!
(tune of I'm a little teapot)
I'm a little apple short and round
I make a munchy, crunchy, sound
If you bite into me you will see-
I'm Delicious as can be!
I am just being honest in this blog!!! I am in counseling...I am working though everything!
Thanks for reading my blog and your uplifting comments!