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My Adventures in Spark Land...day 81 out of 365..Negative label I put on myself

Monday, October 22, 2018

Question (from my 31 days of self love): What labels negative and positive to you assign to yourself:

*I am 2nd hand garbage
*I am stuck in a rut

It's interesting that this question came up today because this weekend my son and GF came home Friday night around 10 PM and left Sunday around 2 PM. I can sit and list the good things he did for me and everyone would tell me I have a good son. I could tell you how awful he treated me. People would either make excises for him or tell me it's how I am perceive things. I tend to look at it as how a person makes me feel.

When my family including my son tends not to communicate with me, I feel left out.

When my son and his GF bring food for themselves for the weekend and none for me. Then they leave leave me a sink of dirty dishes, I feel like like my son's room mate not his mom and his unpaid maid.

When my son and GF leave and the place is messier then when they came, I feel overwhelmed by their behavior.

I wonder where I went wrong? Why is my son treating me like this?

My son found a pair of very expensive craft scissors at camp when he was cleaning when he worked there. I put them away. My son wanted them this weekend for daily use in the kitchen. I gave him my every day scissors I got for a dollar and told him no. He got so upset at me because I wasn't using them. When I asked why he treats that college frat house like his home (90 % of this old 50 style home is his expensive stuff) and my place like a dump. He said you plan on moving anyhow, why not treat it like garbage?

As a college kid and getting my 1st place, I got 2nd hand stuff and my parent's stuff they no longer needed. It made me feel like I was 2nd hand. I wasn't good enough to get anything new.

Yesterday when he wanted the expensive scissors over going out and getting cheap ones, when they brought in their food and made it clear it wasn't for me for the weekend. When they left a mess of dishes and a mess in my living room,it all took me back to those feeling of feeling like 2nd hand trash! As much as I love my kid, I hate the way his GF and he treats me. His GF is with him 90% of the time. When she isn't, she is on the phone with him.

My counselor has suggested I talk to him about this and that we work on us. As long as the GF is in the picture, it isn't going to happen!

3 days ago I wrote a blog on adding the healthy habit of sleep. Here are 2 more sleep habits:

5-do the in between the sheets tango-the release of certain hormones may help you sleep a little easier.
6-using a netty pot-with distilled water can clear nasal passages and potential help you sleep better.

No comment on either!

Apple Song
(tune of I'm a little teapot)

I'm a little apple short and round
I make a munchy, crunchy, sound
If you bite into me you will see-
I'm Delicious as can be!

I am just being honest in this blog!!! I am in counseling...I am working though everything!

Thanks for reading my blog and your uplifting comments!

Keep sparkling!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PURPLE0906
    I am so sorry you were disrespected and had a bad weekend. I would not have put up with it and opened my mouth and showed them the door. My daughter knows this and I guess it's the Polish in me, lol. I love her more than life, but won't tolerate certain behavior.
    If you can't talk to your son due to his gf being around, I would either write down what you think and feel either on paper and give it to him or text him. I would also ask him to put on your shoes and see how it feels to be treated that way. He needs to open up his eyes and see that his gf is changing the son you used to know. If they can't respect you and your home, don't bother coming. I know it can be hard and heart breaking but there are times you need to put your foot down and think and take care of yourself.
    I have always had sleep issues and still do, I tend to think and worry too much and can't shut my brain down. I have been listening to ocean waves from a sound machine and I also start saying my prayers. I know the sound machine helps my granddaughter. There are some out there that don't cost a lot and may help you. Reading may help you also to relax.

    emoticon emoticon

    626 days ago
  • LUCYCAN7
    OMG,i am so sorry to hear how your DS
    and his GF disrespected you in your own
    Home.I am a little confused,how does
    your Counseler expect you to talk to your
    Son alone,when he is never alone.That is
    so disrespectful and selfish,please don't
    let no one treat you this way.This would
    break anyone's heart.It did mine just
    reading this!!! emoticon emoticon
    626 days ago
  • SPEDED2
    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

    Tell him come get his things, change the locks, and leave him and GF to stew in their own juices.
    This is abuse that you don't have to accept and don't deserve.

    Lastly, call your counselor and read this blog to her.
    627 days ago
  • CANDOIT54
    Sorry your son treated you so badly. Hope things get better for you soon.
    627 days ago
  • AKA_TROUBLE
    That must be maddening to be treated that way by your own son. Hope things get better for you.
    emoticon
    627 days ago
  • PRNCSCUP1-2FULL
    Well, you are not 2nd hand garbage. And, seriously, most people when they start out have things handed down to them from their parents or others. My first home was all 2nd hand stuff that I got from my parents linen closet, way in back, friend's parents' stuff they didn't want, etc. and, this wasn't even a college home, it was where I was living. A lot of it is how you feel and you are not perceiving his treatment wrongly. It is disrespect straight up! The comment about You're going to move anyhow so why not treat it like garbage..... Um, where are you living now and does he plan to leave his college house trashed when he leaves? That to me is disrespect for the landlord and for himself! Well, you already know how mad this event makes me! Sending you some big squishy hugs promising you are not any kind of garbage!! And, never were!
    627 days ago
  • ANHELIC
    You are certainly not garbage. Remember you are a child of the Most High God and his children are never made as junk. Just keep remembering who your heavenly Father is and He is the only one to to condemn you and He loves you so much that He would never do that. Blessings to you. emoticon emoticon
    627 days ago
  • 2BDYNAMIC
    Well since you did not ask for advice, I will refrain. I will just say where I come from and leave it at that. My home happens to be my castle; I am the one (or we are) that pays for the roof overhead; and all the food within, and so forth. If I see someone …(anyone) taking advantage and being disrespectful, they will hear about it. On the spot--no arguing; I gladly will show the exit and escort them outside unless I am treated with the respect I deserve. When in my house, one is expected to abide by the rules. And that includes, NO dirty dishes ever left in the sink and leaving messes. Enough said.
    627 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/22/2018 4:27:34 PM
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    GRRRR! It's aggravating when these kids (young adults!) should KNOW better but just don't. My DD is constantly leaving dirty clothes all over, shoes wherever, the bathroom a mess. I did have to lay down the law that she knows better, and will start cleaning up after herself. I am a hard worker but resent cleaning up ater a 23 yr. old who is physically able to clean up after herself. AND know if she had her own place it wouldn't be that way @ all! **SIGH**

    It 's a tough situation. If you can, though, it might help to talk w/your DS. My DD, so far, after our talk is a little more conscientious. Doubtful it will last, but for now . . .
    627 days ago
  • LINDA!
    I am sorry that you had a bad weekend. Your son should have made sure that he brought you something to eat. Since he is your son, he is the one that should look out for you.
    627 days ago
  • DOLLYMELISSA1
    I am so sorry to hear hope things get better with your son.
    627 days ago
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