The Struggle is Real and Happening Here and Now
Monday, October 29, 2018
When ever I see memes quoting the phrase “The struggle is real”, my response is rote based on how funny or cute the context of the message is. I never really put in much thought as to what the phrase really means. Everybody struggles from time to time with life’s happenings. I’ve been fortunate to experience fewer serious struggles in my life than others. However, thinking on this phrase I realized, especially at this point in time, that my situation, however benign in comparison to someone else’s situation, is a struggle. It’s a struggle for me.
Today is honestly the first day all month that I feel like the fog is lifting. At the beginning of the month my 21 month old and I had a gastro virus around the same time we traveled 7hrs by car to visit family. Family can be exhausting at the best of times, add some bathroom adventures to that, and well, you can guess how much fun that visit was.
After we got back home and settled into our routine we all got hit with a rather nasty cold. Ok, so I have a 4 year old and a 21 month old, viruses happen. Everyone was seemingly on the mend. I was feeling better too. Then I started to feel bad again, really bad. I was so tired and congested and foggy. Turns out I had one heck of a sinus infection. Something I’ve never had before. I’m now on antibiotics because it just kept getting worse. I resent this because I hate taking medication. I won’t even take aspirin, etc. unless the pain is unbearable, but I feel I didn’t have a choice in this and since starting them I am feeling better.
Previous to all this I had gained back my hard earned 4lbs loss from the summer 5% challenge. I have been struggling so much with eating, working out consistently, and motivation. I tend to engage in heavy self criticism and negative self talk so being sick all month and not able to workout at all has done a number on my self perception. Yet, I know that my body needed to rest and heal, but not being able to do the things I wanted is incredibly frustrating and has led to feelings of self defeat. Most days it was hard work just to get my son up and ready to go to preschool.
But now, as I’ve said the fog is lifting. I no longer feel like I’m drowning, just maybe treading water but my head’s above the water now. So the struggles have been real for me this past month and they’ll probably continue to be until I feel like I’m back on track and making progress - and that might take awhile. However, I’ll keep struggling because I’ve also realized that as long as I’m struggling I haven’t given up.
If you’ve read this long rambling mess with probably too much unnecessary information, thank you! This is my first blog post. I rarely post anything, but I felt I needed to document this feeling of struggling to make it more real or tangible perhaps and move forward through it.
All the best,