White Stuff - It Better Be Dandruff
Thursday, November 15, 2018
Nope, it's snow. I HATE SNOW!!!!!!!!!! We are 22 hours into our 27 hour Winter Storm Warning. The T.V. station, southwest of us in the next state, mentioned that people in our county should not get out due to the slick roads, cars which have slid off the roads, and wrecks. But, in our area, when the weather is at it's worst, the 80 and 90 year old half-senile, hard-heads who mostly compose the population here, who are rattling with every pill known to modern man in their guts and heads, feel the need to prove that they are road worthy.................. they are not. They were out in mass yesterday buying cart fulls of emergency supplies, should they be snowed in...... things like Christmas ornaments. Yes, I'm serious. There are usually 9 goofy shoppers buying tinsel for every one shopper buying necessities like water, batteries, toilet paper, etc. Some of the oldsters have carts full of cookies and vodka, Scotch, Tequila ,etc. I guess some of them have to work up their courage before they, unintentionally or intentionally, do doughnuts on the mall parking lot.
My dad was one of these monsters and some of my sparkfriends, who were fond of his extreme zaniness, remember his driving me up the wall with this reoccurring problem. Where dad lived is up and down hills, curving back and forth, constantly for miles on end. Very remote. The longest 11+ miles in the universe, even in good weather, according to my uncle. While driving in another county far from his home, Dad would call on his cell phone (blatantly illegal) in the midst of a blizzard while the state police were closing the interstate because something "urgent" had came up. This was usually along the lines of "Shorty said that some market in Hooterville was selling kumquats for 27 cents a pound."
Me: Kumquats??!!! Have you heard the weather report, Dad? Noticed anything unusual?!! Like the 70mph wind and blinding snow?
Dad: I don't like kumquats but my neighbor, Pooter MaGraw, loves them. That is a great price.
Me: Dad!!!!!!!!!! Can you hear me??!!! They don't want people out driving!!!!!!!! Especially for kumquats for neighbors!!! There is a blizzard, Dad. OMG!!!! I'm freaking out!
Dad: Oh, I have 4 wheel drive. I can go anywhere. Don't worry. Nothing stops me.
Me: I can guarantee the state police can. If they arrest you, Dad, don't call us. Call Jeff (half-brother). And, don't be drinking either!!!! I'm serious, Dad. Don't drink!!!!
Dad: I've only had 2 beers with Porkchop Hayes, (and as my hubby always accurately pointed out - dad had 2 beers PLUS 2 oxycontin - his limit).
SCREAM!! Dad would fret about what an unfun old lady I had become, almost as bad as his aunts and his mother. Always fretting about soberness and safety and laws. Accusing me of being determined to live to be 105, like some of the other old ladies in the family. What a horrible goal! Nothing worse than a crusty old nag.
Yep, I hate, hate, hate snow. Fall, which looks and feels exactly like Winter here this year, sucks something awful, thus far. We went directly from Summer into Winter. Three snows in the last week and we often don't have snow until December, usually mid or sometimes even late December. Grrrrr. My hubby's boss called early this morning while we were still asleep to tell us that they were having work..........................
grrr. I thought he was calling to cancel work. So we got up early and ..............................
....grrrrrrr........... I didn't love it. I have had to already go outside and walk the 200 feet and then trudge back uphill in the snow (or 10 miles to school) to clean off the frigging satellite dish. Grrrrrrrr. And if I have to go out there and do it again, well, I'm going to............................
This weather has made me ravenous. Could be the prednisone too but, at any rate, I could eat the broadside of a barn. I am looking online for HEALTHY FILLING snacks/meals that won't involve me draining a silo and I pulled up the most ridiculous bull hoffer. Maybe I need a new search engine.
I haven't accomplished much today other than growl. I am staying home - working on making it to 105. I guess I should try do one important thing today, at least. I saw on T.V. where people were making Kookaburra sounds. I think this sounds like something right up my alley! Cackling chuckles and hoots. I'm all in for it! Tata for now!
Things I hate - definitely SNOW
Things I love - Beaches and Kookaburras