Sunday, December 02, 2018
I could list out all my past issues, all my inner torment and play the blame game. The truth is though I made peace with my past long ago. I learned to move on from all the darkness and live my life again. The fact is every single person you meet has a past, has had some form of heart ache. Some people are in the thick of the battle I really hope you take the time to reach out to those people.
Back to my excuses however, they don't exist. They don't weigh me down anymore. As a matter of fact I am one of the most positive people I know in my own way. I don't run around with a permanent smile or hug every person I see. My family can attest that I am not cheery af. I am however positive. I am the first person to point out something good when something goes horribly wrong. I am the one who will tell you how bad your circumstances suck but remind you this phase is a tiny portion of a long life. Even when a wrench is thrown in the best layed out plans if you keep a calm head and breath a new solution is never far. The fact is I do what I want, no self control. For years I didn't care and I was so freaking gloomy and depressed. I have left so much of that behind but the food, thats my friend. Its been with me through good and bad, happy and sad. Breakups and makeups, its my constant. I let everything else go but not my need for food.
Today it hit me right in the face, I let my past go long ago but not the habit formed with it. I keep that front and center. Well no more ! Its time for a 100% break so my eating habits have to go ! Afterall as I stated before I do what I want, I have looked at that from a binge eating out of control selfish point of view. But if I flip that in my mind like I do what I want and I want to be healthy them my entire view is changed. So yes I do what I want but thats no longer an excuse, that will be my motto through this journey. I honestly hope each and every person who reads this will flip they're perspective and do what they want to !!