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Lost and Found

Saturday, December 08, 2018

The truth is, I feel lost. Yes, that is a good word for it; lost. To be honest, I have been depressed for months now, with bits of relief from it here and there, but mostly depression has clouded my view. I'd get bursts of mania and go into a frenzy of doing 'all the things!' And then be right back to depression. Part of it is that my bipolar is not being sufficiently controlled by medication, but I think the rest of it falls on me and my habits. I have not been meeting my needs for routine, exercise, and recently nutrition.

I am one of those people that really thrive with a routine or schedule. Not a strict one, but pretty close. I'm not feeling better now, nor am I out of the depression, it's just that it's come to my attention how bad I have really been doing. Saw my psychiatrist to work on getting my bipolar under control, now for me to do the rest.

I need a routine. A basic daily routine that I do every day no matter what. I have a weekly routine sketched out on ToDoist.com, but have not really been working with it and have found that it can be rather intimidating if you get 'behind' on stuff. I like lists, but I prefer paper for some reason. I tried Flylady, the basic idea works, but the whole binder thing does not work for me, it's just clutter, our house is small so space is difficult to find. I think I'll work with ToDoist some more and see if I can't work it out to where it will work better for me. No napping is going to be a big one for me, as napping has yet again become a habit of mine. I've spent days in bed because of this depression. And because of surgeries and migraines, I think those things are what started me on it. Ah, well, I don't want to dwell on what I'm doing wrong, I want to concentrate on what I can do to make things right.

Exercise. Why have I been avoiding this? I have no idea, other than depression. I have a great neighborhood to walk, though we don't have sidewalks, there are sidewalks right outside of our subdivision, and we basically live right next to the downtown area. I have a treadmill that I love for cold, rainy days... we live moments from the mountains and wonderful hiking areas...I really have no excuse! And I've lost so much weight, I know I've lost muscle too. My poor butt is sagging! I need a booty workout! LOL! I'm having surgery this upcoming Monday, so I'll have to work with my recovery (6 weeks!) and get into it after that. So no jumping the gun on getting into exercise. I'll probably have physical therapy after my recovery time is up.

Nutrition. This one should be a no-brainer for me. But, I've been having too many carbs, because who doesn't love a slice of toast with their eggs in the morning? But for me, after having gastric bypass surgery, even that little amount of carbs is way too much. I stopped losing weight because I've been letting myself sneak carbs. No more. I need to put my shakes where I can see them and remember that if the family is eating something with carbs, I can either get some chicken out of the freezer or have a shake! Got to remember to take my vitamins every day as well. I promised myself I would stick to taking the vitamins and not get deficient in anything. Need to keep that promise.

The main thing really is the routine/structure/schedule though. I have not had a good one in place in a long time and that is not good for me. I think that once I get the routines in place, the rest will start to fall into place as I work on my routine. The main thing, I think, will be not to jump into a structured routine and expect it to fit me just right. I need to remember that I can be flexible and change the routine to fit me, not the other way around.

Hey, I think I just found my word of the year for 2019: Found! I'm not lost, I am found! Hmmm... Need to think on that. I was going to use Thrive, but it doesn't really resonate with me.

On my 2nd cup of coffee this morning (I have not been having coffee recently, so I'm really buzzing this morning) and oh how I have missed my morning cup of joy!

What about you? Any tips or ideas on settling on a routine that helps you thrive?

Hope you have a blessed weekend!

~Flea
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LITTLEGUYSMOM1
    emoticon
    485 days ago
  • EO4WELLNESS
    For me, sparking helps. If I try to do it ALL at ONCE, i get overwhelmed. So I write down all of the things I need to change (want to change) where I can see it all in one place. Then I prioritize. What is the 1-3 things I can start doing right now which will make the biggest difference immediately? Eventually I work thru the entire list, making them a regular part of my life--one habit at a time--and then just maintaining those habits while I add another, and then another. This was it is not overwhelming and I am only focused on a few new things at a time so it is manageable where I do not lose hope, momentum, or the focus to do it--giving myself grace about the things which are lower priority on my list that I haven't implemented yet. I don't have to be perfect--just making progress. That works for me. Hope you find what works best for you.
    485 days ago
  • ASOBFALLS
    emoticon Found It!
    486 days ago
  • SIMPLY_JAE
    I suffer with depression, I have found I do better when my day is structured. Also I do better when I don't do group challenges only the challenges I set for myself..Most importantly be perfect everyday. Everyday will be different..Be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up for the things you don't get done..Take one day at a time
    486 days ago
  • GOLFGMA
    How about using the "plan your day" from Spark on opening page of Spark Points? Take one or two a day and let this hold you accountable.
    486 days ago
  • EISSA7
    How about starting small? I make a “just for today” schedule....that way, you can tweak it for tomorrow, if necessary....set a goal or two and go for it. emoticon
    486 days ago
  • CINDY247
    I have a "routine" That I follow My routine just happens to be what I do everyday with my goals added in. I've had to make time for exercise - its mandatory for me now. In the morning I plan my food for the day & track it! Best wishes! Keep on Sparki
    486 days ago
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