Lost and Found
Saturday, December 08, 2018
The truth is, I feel lost. Yes, that is a good word for it; lost. To be honest, I have been depressed for months now, with bits of relief from it here and there, but mostly depression has clouded my view. I'd get bursts of mania and go into a frenzy of doing 'all the things!' And then be right back to depression. Part of it is that my bipolar is not being sufficiently controlled by medication, but I think the rest of it falls on me and my habits. I have not been meeting my needs for routine, exercise, and recently nutrition.
I am one of those people that really thrive with a routine or schedule. Not a strict one, but pretty close. I'm not feeling better now, nor am I out of the depression, it's just that it's come to my attention how bad I have really been doing. Saw my psychiatrist to work on getting my bipolar under control, now for me to do the rest.
I need a routine. A basic daily routine that I do every day no matter what. I have a weekly routine sketched out on ToDoist.com, but have not really been working with it and have found that it can be rather intimidating if you get 'behind' on stuff. I like lists, but I prefer paper for some reason. I tried Flylady, the basic idea works, but the whole binder thing does not work for me, it's just clutter, our house is small so space is difficult to find. I think I'll work with ToDoist some more and see if I can't work it out to where it will work better for me. No napping is going to be a big one for me, as napping has yet again become a habit of mine. I've spent days in bed because of this depression. And because of surgeries and migraines, I think those things are what started me on it. Ah, well, I don't want to dwell on what I'm doing wrong, I want to concentrate on what I can do to make things right.
Exercise. Why have I been avoiding this? I have no idea, other than depression. I have a great neighborhood to walk, though we don't have sidewalks, there are sidewalks right outside of our subdivision, and we basically live right next to the downtown area. I have a treadmill that I love for cold, rainy days... we live moments from the mountains and wonderful hiking areas...I really have no excuse! And I've lost so much weight, I know I've lost muscle too. My poor butt is sagging! I need a booty workout! LOL! I'm having surgery this upcoming Monday, so I'll have to work with my recovery (6 weeks!) and get into it after that. So no jumping the gun on getting into exercise. I'll probably have physical therapy after my recovery time is up.
Nutrition. This one should be a no-brainer for me. But, I've been having too many carbs, because who doesn't love a slice of toast with their eggs in the morning? But for me, after having gastric bypass surgery, even that little amount of carbs is way too much. I stopped losing weight because I've been letting myself sneak carbs. No more. I need to put my shakes where I can see them and remember that if the family is eating something with carbs, I can either get some chicken out of the freezer or have a shake! Got to remember to take my vitamins every day as well. I promised myself I would stick to taking the vitamins and not get deficient in anything. Need to keep that promise.
The main thing really is the routine/structure/schedule though. I have not had a good one in place in a long time and that is not good for me. I think that once I get the routines in place, the rest will start to fall into place as I work on my routine. The main thing, I think, will be not to jump into a structured routine and expect it to fit me just right. I need to remember that I can be flexible and change the routine to fit me, not the other way around.
Hey, I think I just found my word of the year for 2019: Found! I'm not lost, I am found! Hmmm... Need to think on that. I was going to use Thrive, but it doesn't really resonate with me.
On my 2nd cup of coffee this morning (I have not been having coffee recently, so I'm really buzzing this morning) and oh how I have missed my morning cup of joy!
What about you? Any tips or ideas on settling on a routine that helps you thrive?
Hope you have a blessed weekend!