Thursday, January 03, 2019
There are many kinds of struggles in this world, and we all have our own demons. For some, it may be alcohol. Others, smoking cigarettes. Some people gamble, and some shop.
For me, it's eating sugar.
There's no denying the elated taste of sweet euphoria that I get when I pop a piece of candy into my mouth. I struggle to say "no" if it's offered. Heck, I don't think I have ever turned down a piece of candy in my life. I seek it out when I'm sad, or feeling stressed. I use it as a reward when I have done good at work, or to celebrate happy times. I bring it on trips for a quick burst of energy, and pick it out as a snack when hanging out with friends.
Candy is everywhere for me.
Hubby and I enjoy listing to several podcasts while we travel, and one in particular is two friends who started the podcast to help keep one of them sober from drugs (a lot of drugs). Listening to him talk about the things he would do just to get another hit... made me realize that I have my own problem. But it's not something I'm injecting into my body with a needle; it's something I'm putting into my mouth.
Though I am not keen on the idea of "New Year's Resolutions", I opted to start my "Candy Sober" trek on Jan. 1, in part to make it easy to keep track of my success. When I listen to the man on the podcast talk about his length of sobriety, and how he would go years then fall back into the same patterns, and how now, at over eight years, is the longest time he has ever been sober in his adult life, it drives home that this isn't going to be a short-term goal, but a life-long choice for the betterment of my health.
I worry about what family and friends will say if I tell them I want to be "Candy Sober." I suspect some will be intrigued and supportive, but others will tell me it's nothing compared to "real" addictions that other people face in their lives. Some may even treat it as a joke, or not take it seriously at all. I plan to just quietly turn down the offer of any candy, and if I receive any as a gift, I will bring it to work to place in the lunch room. I haven't even told Hubby, as I am afraid that I will fail, and I don't want to disappoint his faith in me. He is by far my biggest supporter, and I don't want to let him down; but this choice is also for me, and I want to find the drive to succeed by myself. Today is Day 3 of my journey, and I realized I needed to put my thoughts down somewhere fairly anonymous, so here I am.
My name is Meg, and I have an addiction to sugar, specifically candy. As of 2019, I am going to go sober, and give up candy entirely.