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What do I say?

Thursday, January 03, 2019

I am 36 and chubby. Honestly, I'm pretty blessed because I rarely look in the mirror and hate what I see. I'm built like a linebacker. I've heard it my whole life. Broad shoulders, broad back, broad hips, big feet. I mean, yeah. I'm 5'9" and have been since age 13. So I guess I'll start with the long shtuff made short. I developed bulimia in high school, like a lot of women (and some men). My heaviest was 287 lbs. I remember the number clearly as the doctor, who upon first meeting, fat shamed me, told me there was "enough of me to make 2 people" and told me if I "ate anything besides fried cheese I might lose some weight." I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and got married shortly after that. Then I did weight watchers and lost 112 lbs between that and exercise. With my hypothyroidism now under control I could sweat (did you know that's a side effect of untreated hypothyroidism? Not sweating properly? Me either.) And suddenly found I was madly in love with the ability to exercise and sweat. Seriously, yall. I still get excited when I feel sweat running down my body! And fell in love with boxing. But my marriage ended and over the next few years I packed on first 10, and then 50 lbs. Life. Am I right? Anyway, I managed to lose 20 and now I'm on the struggle bus HARD. I honestly hate what weight watchers has done. It no longer works for me. I'm sure its amazing for a lot of folks, I'm just not one of them. So here I am. Trying SP for the umpteenth time. I dont want to be 170 again. Since all the changes I've discovered I love weight lifting. Like. LOVE. Also: buti yoga. And kick boxing. And dancing, which I'm horrible at and people look at me like I have problems. But that's ok. None of this is for anyone else. I'm in love, and he adores me at any size, and vis-versa. I've helped him pack on 50 lbs of mostly muscle from a hyper lean body (6'5" 155 to now 205!)) and now I catch him flexing in the mirror and its freaking adorable. Sorry, I got off track. Anyway, that's probably the best news here. This isnt for anyone else. It's for me. Because I miss feeling good. I miss not being frightened of the "regular clothing" section. SO MANY MORE OPTIONS, y'know? And my body just FEELS slower than it was. And I miss throwing crazy powerful punches at lightening speed and I've never experienced buti with a Onederland body. I want that.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Good luck in your quest. emoticon
    402 days ago
  • TWEDEE777
    Me too!! I almost was in onederland but gave up at 200 even. Now back to 230 and determined to do it this time. Good luck and enjoy your love!!
    416 days ago
    You encouraged me. Do what makes you happy!
    417 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.