I've reached my peak point with myself that I've had enough of being overweight. For one, I don't feel comfortable or feel like I look nice in any type of clothing anymore. My feet and back hurt all the time. Being intimate just repulses me because lets face it.. I can feel parts of my body that SHOULD NOT be moving THAT much. I'm topped out at 290.5 lbs. I feel horrified that I even let myself get this heavy to begin with. I've needed motivation for a long time and have started and stopped diets for the past 10 years with little to no results. My biggest down fall is the sweets for me. I've read a lot about sugar and how it has addictive properties as equal to cocaine for drug addict. That's when the idea hit me, that I literally have to treat my obesity like a disease. Which technically it is. So with that mentality I've started on my weight loss journey this week with the most determination I've ever had.
Here is the break down of my week:
CHECK IN DAY:
Monday: I took this day to mentally prepare myself for the week to come. I listened to a couple differen't motivation videos on youtube and got some great tips from people who I consider "Go Getters." My first fear about exercising is that I know its hard work, but my depression which causes me to sleep a lot is a very hard thing for me to overcome some days. Arnold Schwarzenegger talked about something that made me really re-think my sleeping pattern. His quote went something like this: "If your worried about not getting enough sleep for your body, just sleep faster." I laughed to myself and thought, you know.. he's right. He mentioned about having 24 hours in the day. 8 for work and 16 other hours on how I decide to plan my day and my life. My usual amount of sleep I get is between 8-10 hours of sleep. I thought, you know what... I don't need that much. The more hours I sleep, the more I want to sleep. (Thats how my body works anyway) So lately I give myself 4-5 hours of sleep which is about half my normal, and to my surprise... the less sleep I have the more energized I feel! Which if I haven't experienced it for myself and someone just told me that, I would have laughed at their face.
Tuesday: I was super nervous about this day because I had scheduled myself to take an exercise class. I've NEVER stepped foot in an exercise class before in my life. Watching movies you always see people in classes have their cliques that they are in and they are snotty skinny girls... needless to say.. I was dreading this.. but I told myself I would try it out to see if I liked it. I got to my local YMCA... pulled up my big girl panties and swallowed by anxiety and stepped into the classroom. I watched while the people who've been attending the class before running around setting up weights, steps, and yoga mats. The instructor spotted me in the door way and quickly came to greet me. She was super friendly and then other members came up and started talking to me and welcoming me to the class. I of course was the heaviest person there, but I stuffed that emotion down quickly and tried not to dwell on it. The instructor introduced me to the equipment along with a few members. The class is called: "Active Together". Its a Cardio, Strength Training/Weights, and Yoga all in one for 45-50 mins. I started off in the back of class today because I didn't want anyone to watch me flop around like a whale out of water. The class was so upbeat and fun.. I surprisingly had a blast and had a smile on my face the whole time. Also a plus... I was soaked when I walked out of that class which was exactly what I wanted. I knew I'd be coming back. Everyone at the end said "Goodbye and Hope to see you again" which to me is super encouraging.
Wednesday: I was looking forward to this day because I ordered the Beach Body work out called "Insanity." I've done this workout before with no dieting and got the best results. Plus I feel amazing afterwards. So I re-started the workout today with my favorite disk. I was really sore from the work out yesterday but powered through it today. About a 3/4 of the way through the insanity work I fell to the floor bawling about how disappointed I was in myself for letting myself get so heavy. I let myself go and how awful it must be for my children and husband having to cater to me over the past years because I couldn't do certain things. I am so heavy for myself that I am to the point I can't put on my winter boots, tie my shoe laces, clip my toe nails, or lotion my own feet. I'm 29... How SAD is that... But this is why I'm doing this workout and re-invention for myself. I deserve a better self worth and a better self love for myself. I did finish the rest of the work out and and like always I felt amazing!
Thursday: This was the second round of my exercise class at the YMCA today. I could really feel my sore muscles today and it was harder to power through and keep up to the beat of the class. Needless to say I might have not done everything perfectly or correct, but I still moved and sweated like someone dumped a water bottle over my head. As long as I sweat like that and felt great afterwards, I didn't care about performance or how icky I look throwing my weight around. I notice that during my workouts about half way through, my feet cramp up on my so bad that its to the point I have to stop and stretch them out a bit otherwise I wouldn't be able to walk. That pain is THAT BAD! I have to look into solutions for this because I don't want this to be a game changer for me.
Friday: A curve ball got thrown at me. Instead of my normal daily work out routine, my daughter got sick and I had to take her to the doctor. She ended up being positive for strep throat. So I had to call into work to be with her for the day. Which ended up being a good thing for me because I was able to do a round of Insanity. I was super exhausted today, which I imagine was from the last couple days. I did a half of the workout, sweated, not as much as I would have liked, but then showered and hung out with daughter. We watched movies and took a about a 2 hour nap while I waited for my son to get home from school. I hung out with a friend that evening and ended up coming home and staying up until 4:30am playing ps4 conquering the Jurassic World game.
Saturday: Like I mentioned, I went to bed at 4:30am and I figured I"d probably sleep in until 10-11 because of it. Surprisingly, I was wide awake and pumped to get up and work out at 8:15am. It's almost like I got a power nap and was rearing to go now. I did a full work out of the Insanity again today and sweated like the beast I feel I am becoming. The rest of the day I spent cleaning up the house, doing runs around town, and taking care of the kiddos. I noticed once again my feet got cramped up so bad I had to pause the workout and walk around for about 10mins trying to un-cramp them. I still haven't had a moment to look into this, but I will shortly after I finish this blog post.
Sunday: Rest day - I plan on taking my kids swimming at the YMCA so I can soak my poor sore muscles in the hot tub and just have a good day to just relax and enjoy my progress. OH! It's also weight in day and I can't wait to see if I've lost any weight or shrunk anywhere. I know not to expect a huge change, but I"m excited. Check back on Monday to hear the results!