So not worth it!!!!

I had a really bad day yesterday. I had 3 interview, none of them were what I thought they would be, a waste of time effort and gas. I am so sick of doing applications and interviews. I just want a job any job!

I started out good, did my stretches, ate a good breakfast, and headed out with my water bottle. Felt good going into interview one, in fact I had to stop and hitch up my pants going in. Yea my pants were loose, that's a good thing.

By the time I left the third interview I was so discouraged and frustrated. I stopped on the way home, got a package of Ding Dongs, cookies, and chips. When I got home I had a soda and ate the Ding Dongs, rather than having a health snack. I had already missed my morning walk, and didn't do my afternoon walk.

I did nothing the rest of the day, I didn't exercise, I didn't visit my team boards, I drank soda, and ate. I pulled back inside myself, hiding in my room doing nothing. My sister is really easy going and let me just hide out rather than making me come out and joint the rest of the family.

I promised myself I would get back on track in the morning. I had no idea how hard that would be. After having trouble getting to sleep, and waking up several times during the night, I woke up this morning, feeling like crap. I feel like I drank a whole bottle of wine, even though I had none. I don't remember the last time I had a hangover from partying and drinking too much, it's been many years, but that’s what I feel like this morning. I'm having to make myself move, it's worse than day one. I have a head ache, and no energy at all. I feel bloated and stiff. Even doing my morning stretches, I had a hard time, it was as hard to move as it was day one.

I'm assuming this is a reaction to the sugar and presertivies that I hadn't had in 7 days, combined with dehydration from not drinking as much water as I have been. I learned a valuable lesson, it was so not worth it. Forget the calories I ate or didn't burn, getting myself back on track is not going to be easy, but I'm going to do it.

Clearly my diet over the last few years has added to lack of activity, that diet and lack of activity contributed to me pulling inside myself. Eating that junk didn't make me feel better last night, and it has made me feel terrible this morning it SO WAN'T WORTH IT.

Thank goodness for my friend Sharron, who called me last night to remind me of the women's group meeting at the church today. If she hadn't I'm not sure I'd have pulled myself back out of this. Last night I was thinking of skipping the meeting, until she called and I told her I would be there. This morning when I wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep, I knew I had to get up and get going because I had the meeting that I could no long blow off.

I'm not looking forward to doing my walks today, but I will. The sun being out for the first time in a week will help. I am looking forward to getting back on the diet, I really don't like the way all that sugar and junk food made me feel. I will go to the meeting and enjoy being with people, and not hiding out alone. I'll wash off yesterdays makeup, pay attention to what I wear, and visit my team boards. I will get myself back on track, and moving forward. Next time I am tempted to slip off, I hope I remember how bad I feel to day and go for a walk rather than eat those Ding Dongs.

IT SO WASN'T WORTH IT.