Losing Steam --- Thoughts and Ramblings for a cold (8 degrees F) winter's morning...
Monday, February 18, 2019
I am exactly at the half way point to my first major goal 154.1. I started at 272.3 and granted that is a huge loss... and I'm down from a 3/4/5x to a M/L/XL depending on the manufacturer. With this loss I've noticed a lot of floppy stuff hanging around and I'm wondering if subconsciously that might be part of why I'm losing steam.
I have stopped tracking foods in the tracker --- but I always have a good idea where my calorie count is in my head. I have also stopped weighing and measuring foods as well. I haven't gained weight back, but my loss has slowed dramatically.
I have stopped being religious about my exercise as well. I'll get on the treadmill when I feel like it. Aside from my 4 physical therapy sessions a week I have stopped doing the strength training on purpose. Again, not gaining --- just my progress has slowed.
Pain is a major factor in this I'm sure... but my head hasn't been in the game either. A lot is weather related too considering we've had 3 1/2 feet of snow dumped on us here in about 10 days.
I've noticed my stress has increased dramatically as well... and I've started falling back in to old habits. I need to stop that.
I've always had the strongest will power when I decide to do something -- and losing nearly 70 pounds since September 2018 is quite a feat, and I recognize that. My brain is battling me on the accomplishment and pointing out that I still have a very long way to go.. to my first major goal of being under 200 pounds (I'm 7 pounds away from it) and ultimately to my final goal of 102 pounds again (pre-pregancy weight) or a size 2 (pre-pregnancy size). Considering I've already moved from a 2x bottoms (18-20) to a XL (14-16) -- And a 16 is loose on me ---- and a 3-5x tops to a M/L/XL (8-10/12-14/14-16) XL is baggy L seems about right, and M is just right depending on the style of the shirt so I figure probably about a size 12. So, yes, I have come quite a long way -- And a long way yet to go to get down to that 0-2 I used to be. It may happen, it may not. But at the end of the day I have to get my motivation back up. I have to start fighting for who I want to be and start moving in that direction. The who I was needs to lose the battle so who I want to be can take center stage.
I know I'll get there --- just hitting a few bumps in the road. I see the struggles of the people on here and I wonder how I've gotten so far in such a short amount of time and then I stalled and I'm now fighting the pause button for control again.