My salty life: What I miss and what I gain day 1
Friday, February 22, 2019
Since I have been diagnosed with my chronic illness, I knew life would be different. I am one of those active personalities. Rarely was there a day when I didn't leave the house. I like to be on the go. That has all changed. If I push myself to much I pass out. In the beginning days i did that a lot. I was passing out multiple times a day because well I'm stubborn. I am learning my limits. But it has been tough for me to accept.
In this blog I want to be able express the loss I have experienced with POTS. I feel I always need to be strong. My husband has been great but he has the fix it personality. Which I love in him bit sadly none of these things have an easy fix. So I just need a place to throw it out there. But I cant just leave it at loss because my life is not bad it is just different. So I want to all show what I have gained in this new life.
Loss- my independence
I havent been able to drive for 9 months now and it has been the single most difficult adjustment. Since I was 16 I have been able to get in my car and do what I need to do. Now I rely on others for so much. I need rides to the doctor. Someone has to buy my groceries. I cant take a walk around the block. For awhile I couldn't even shower by myself. I have always been the one to take care of others. And I took a lot of pride on that. It has been humbling for sure.
I have never had the skill to just chill. I have always had to be doing something. Even if I was watching tv i had to he sorting socks or knitting. Now i have to do things in little chunks and then I have to rest. And not busy rest. I have to be still. And I am finding that there is beauty in the still. There is a verse in psalms that says be still and know that I am God. And I am appreciating that verse in a whole new way.
This is my salty life. Pots makes my different bit not bad.