My salty life: Tears at the BMV
Tuesday, February 26, 2019
So today I broke down and went the BMV to get a disability placard. I'm not sure why this hit me so hard.
I have pushing it off for awhile. I have superwoman mentality. I want to do it all. But the reality is my body just is not able to keep up.
With POTS I become faint when I stand up too fast or I'm on my feet for too long. Thankfully I get a warning before I pass out. As long as I listen and sit down I can recover .
We went to a basketball game. The parking lot was large and we had to park in the back. By the time we walked in and tried to get to our seats it was simply too much. I knew I was in a bad state but the crowd was pushing in and there was no place that I felt I could sit without risk of being trampled. I pushed too hard and fell and nearly broke my wrist.
Things might have been different if I could have used a handicap spot. But I just know people will judge. I'm 28 and look healthy. But I really could use it in some scenarios.
So I did it and went in to get the paperwork. And it all hit me like a tidal wave. And I teared up as the lady was explaining the process. I just hate that I'm 28 and handicapped. I'm sure she thought I was a little crazy.
Now I am blessed. I do know this. My family is a great support and not everyone has this. But today I'm going to mourn this change. But it's just another step in the process.
My life is different but not bad. Pots has taken but also given so much. It may be crazy but it's my salty life.